Love and Intimacy in Contemporary Society reflects on relationships in contemporary society and the role of love and intimacy in framing lives. The book draws on sociological perspectives, cultural sociology and gender theory perspectives. It looks at how love and intimacy is experienced differently and intersected by gender, ethnicity, race and sexuality. This book aims to encourage people to understand theories of intimacy, emotions and desire by examining these concepts contemporaneously and cross-culturally. It also explores how love and intimacy is experienced by young people and how it is impacted by age. It looks at its representation in the media and film and focuses on how gender, ethnicity and sexuality offer different perspectives on love and intimacy. The book shows how relationships are impacted by social networking and new technologies and the opportunities and challenges posed by these new platforms for building relationships. Finally, the book examines how intimacy has become commercialised in late capitalism and how that acts to change relationships. The book is written in an accessible way and explores a range of theoretical debates and contemporary research around emotions, which can be useful for undergraduate, postgraduate and doctoral study.

The sexual revolution: an evocative term, but what meaning can be given to it today? How does 'sexuality' come into being and what connections does it have with the changes that have affected personal life on a more general plane? In answering these questions, Anthony Giddens disputes many of the dominant interpretations of the role of sexuality in modern culture. The emergence of what the author calls plastic sexuality - sexuality freed from its intrinsic relation to reproduction - is analysed in terms of the long-term development of the modern social order and social influences of the last few decades. Giddens argues that the transformation of intimacy, in which women have played the major part, holds out the possibility of a radical democratization of the personal sphere. This book will appeal to a large general audience as well as being essential reading for students and professionals.

Abstract:

Why does love matter? Love and Society discusses the meaning and importance of love for contemporary society. Love is not only an emotion that occurs in our intimate relationships; it is a special emotion that allows us to relate to each other in a lasting fashion, to create out of our individual pasts a shared past, which enables us to project a shared future. Bringing together the idea of Simmel’s second order forms with theories of love, this insightful volume shows that the answer to why love is so central to society can be found in the social transformation of the last two centuries. It also explains how we can build our strongest social bonds on the fragility of an emotions thanks to the creation of "special moments" (love rituals) and "intimate stories" (love myths) that are central to the weaving of lasting social bonds. Going to the cinema, reading a book together or sharing songs are forms of weaving bonds of love and part of the cycle of love. But love is not only shared between two people; the desire and the search for love is something we share with almost all members of society. With rich empirical data, an analysis of love’s transformation in modernity, and a critical engagement with classical and contemporary theorists, this book provides a lively discussion on the meaning and importance of love for today’s society. It will be of interest to undergraduate and postgraduate students and postdoctoral researchers who are interested in fields such as Sociology of Emotions, Sociological Theory and Sociology of Morality.

“After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now...”—Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages—from the “traditional” to the utterly nontraditional—and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try “lovehacks.” This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.

Romantic relationships hold enormous significance within contemporary society, and monogamous marriage continues to serve as the “master template,” informing the structure, personal and legal parameters of intimacy. Although social changes have indeed impacted traditional notions of marriage and coupledom, monogamy continues to serve as the ultimate embodiment of commitment, love, and devotion to one’s partner and operates as the fundamental framework of sexual and emotional exclusivity. Relationship rules serve as a key indicator of what individuals expect and value within their intimate lives. For example, the rules of marriage (and therefore monogamy) emphasize loyalty, exclusivity, and faithfulness between two partners, which is generally operationalized as fidelity. Further, rule violations are often characterized as “infidelity,” and represent a breach to the commitment established between partners. The rules of monogamy, as well as the consequences for violating them, have been normalized and institutionalized in both paradigm and practice; American culture is decidedly mononormative, and fidelity is central to monogamous relationships. While the master monogamous template continues to be institutionally and individually reinforced, some actively choose to “break the rules” of monogamy in favor of multiple sexual and/or romantic relations. Consensual nonmonogamists, in contexts like open relationships, swinging, and polyamory, challenge the master monogamous template through not only engaging with multiple sexual and/or romantic partners, but also being consensual and usually overt about them. If monogamists have rules about other partners that ensure fidelity, do nonmonogamists have rules? If so, what are they, and what purpose do they serve in a relationship structure that has already broken the cardinal rule of exclusivity? Is commitment important in nonmonogamous relationships, and does fidelity exist between partners who are having sex with and/or falling in love with other partners? This study draws on over 2,000 surveys and 70 in-depth interviews with monogamists, nonmonogamists, and polyamorists to examine the meaning, significance, and practice of fidelity within their intimate relationships. Results indicate that fidelity exists in some variation in all relationship types. The book presents a “Fidelity Typology” based on differentiations between sexual and emotional exclusivity, as well as whether behavior aligns with ideology. The author argues that while exclusivity may not be a necessity in today’s romantic relationships, “feeling special” is key regardless of whether a relationship is monogamous, nonmonogamous, or polyamorous. However, how an individual experiences and ensures specialness is tempered by definitions of love and sex, differentiating between sexual and emotional exclusivity, and engaging individual agency in creating rules between partners. The book highlights that gender and sexual orientation are most salient in conceptualizations of monogamy, sex, and love, rates of nonmonogamy, and even relationship agreements and rules. The author offers a nuanced framework for understanding commitment in today’s romantic relationships, invoking a more agentic approach to achieving specialness called “personal fidelity.” The author argues that while personal fidelity is ultimately socially informed through the master template, it is also largely based on one’s sexual and emotional self-awareness, accountability, and perceived responsibility to other partner(s). Personal fidelity may well be the catalyst for ensuring specialness between partners and preserving the significance of one’s intimate relationship(s). This is an important book for sexualities studies, as well as scholars and students interested in gender, family and intimate relationships.

Originally published: Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1986.