The Unorthodox Haggadah

The Unorthodox Haggadah
Title The Unorthodox Haggadah PDF eBook
Author Nathan Phillips
Publisher Andrews McMeel Publishing
Total Pages 86
Release 2015-02-03
Genre Humor
ISBN 1449470351

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The Unorthodox Haggadah is a way to enjoy the strange and wonderful world of religion, while skipping the boring parts. Ritual is at the core of every culture, but people are no longer into dogma. This book offers the ritual with a hilarious, irreverent twist. It is genuinely funny, fun to flip through, and a riot to use at the seder. Make sure everyone around your table has a copy for the next Passover. Sample text: Let's begin by drinking the blood of a virgin lamb off the tip of a flaming golden scimitar. In the event that you've de-virginized your lamb or misplaced your scimitar, use wine. Now, we toast the Israelites for rolling out of Egypt in time and generally being clever. Here are a few things they've invented since 1901: Jeans, lipstick, Hollywood, the fax machine, psychoanalysis, and the weekend. Thanks for getting us out of Egypt before shit got too real. Drink the second cup of wine while leaning to the left. “…light up your seder.” -Huffington Post "A cool, creative affront to Jewish grandmothers." -MediaBistro “Redefine Bitter Herbs…slightly insane.” -Tablet Magazine "It’s the Passover you never knew you always wanted...While there are many (many!) different Haggadah versions out there, this one is hands down our favorite (sorry Maxwell house). Genuinely funny, which puts it head and shoulders above 99.9% of the treacly crap people foist on unsuspecting seder guests to try to fool them into thinking they’re actually enjoying themselves.” -Heeb Magazine­

The Unorthodox Haggadah

The Unorthodox Haggadah
Title The Unorthodox Haggadah PDF eBook
Author Nathan Phillips
Publisher Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC
Total Pages 0
Release 2015-02-03
Genre Humor
ISBN 9781449469603

Download The Unorthodox Haggadah Book in PDF, Epub and Kindle

The Unorthodox Haggadah is a way to enjoy the strange and wonderful world of religion, while skipping the boring parts. Ritual is at the core of every culture, but people are no longer into dogma. This book offers the ritual with a hilarious, irreverent twist. It is genuinely funny, fun to flip through, and a riot to use at the seder. Make sure everyone around your table has a copy for the next Passover. Sample text: Let's begin by drinking the blood of a virgin lamb off the tip of a flaming golden scimitar. In the event that you've de-virginized your lamb or misplaced your scimitar, use wine. Now, we toast the Israelites for rolling out of Egypt in time and generally being clever. Here are a few things they've invented since 1901: Jeans, lipstick, Hollywood, the fax machine, psychoanalysis, and the weekend. Thanks for getting us out of Egypt before shit got too real. Drink the second cup of wine while leaning to the left. “…light up your seder.” -Huffington Post "A cool, creative affront to Jewish grandmothers." -MediaBistro “Redefine Bitter Herbs…slightly insane.” -Tablet Magazine "It’s the Passover you never knew you always wanted...While there are many (many!) different Haggadah versions out there, this one is hands down our favorite (sorry Maxwell house). Genuinely funny, which puts it head and shoulders above 99.9% of the treacly crap people foist on unsuspecting seder guests to try to fool them into thinking they’re actually enjoying themselves.” -Heeb Magazine­

For This We Left Egypt?

For This We Left Egypt?
Title For This We Left Egypt? PDF eBook
Author Dave Barry
Publisher Macmillan + ORM
Total Pages 128
Release 2017-03-07
Genre Humor
ISBN 125011022X

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The book you hold before you is no ordinary Haggadah. If you’ve ever suffered through a Seder, you’re well aware of the fact that the entire evening can last as long as the exodus from Egypt itself. There are countless stories, dozens of blessings, and far too many handwashings while the meal turns cold. Now prepare to be entertained by another version of the book that’s responsible for this interminable tradition. With this hilarious parody Haggadah from the comedic minds of Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel, and Adam Mansbach, good Jews everywhere will no longer have to sit (and sleep) through a lengthy and boring Seder. In For This We Left Egypt?, the authors will be take you through every step of the Seder, from getting rid of all the chametz in your home by setting it on fire with a kosher blowtorch to a retelling of the Passover story starring Pharaoh Schmuck and a burning bush that sounds kind of like Morgan Freeman, set against the backdrop of the Promised Land—which turned out not to be a land of milk and honey but rather one of rocks and venomous scorpions the size of Yorkshire terriers. You then eat a celebratory brisket and wrap up the whole evening by taking at least forty-five minutes to say good-bye to everyone. So gather all the Jews in your life (even the few who don’t appear to be long-suffering) and settle in for a fun way to pass the time while waiting for Elijah to show up.

The Passover Haggadah

The Passover Haggadah
Title The Passover Haggadah PDF eBook
Author Alana Newhouse
Publisher Artisan
Total Pages 146
Release 2021-02-24
Genre Religion
ISBN 1648291090

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Each generation is called to perform a Passover Seder, a ritual designed to help us imagine personally experiencing the exodus from Egypt. But how can we do this together, when today our tables include people of different backgrounds, knowledge, and beliefs? Let this Passover Haggadah be your guide. Both proudly traditional and blazingly modern, it is a perfect blueprint for remembering the past, living in our present, and imagining the future. Here you’ll find the entirety of the Seder text for those who don’t want to miss a thing—including Hebrew, English, and a newly developed transliteration that makes the Hebrew surprisingly accessible. And, alongside, contemporary questions, illustrations, and meditations on freedom, community, destiny, and other topics that will engage the whole group in a lively and memorable discussion, especially once you’ve started in on those obligatory four cups of wine.

Kale & Caramel

Kale & Caramel
Title Kale & Caramel PDF eBook
Author Lily Diamond
Publisher Simon and Schuster
Total Pages 272
Release 2017-05-02
Genre Cooking
ISBN 1501123416

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Born out of the popular blog Kale & Caramel, this sumptuously photographed and beautifully written cookbook presents eighty recipes for delicious vegan and vegetarian dishes featuring herbs and flowers, as well as luxurious do-it-yourself beauty products. Plant-whisperer, writer, and photographer Lily Diamond believes that herbs and flowers have the power to nourish inside and out. “Lily’s deep connection to nature is beautifully woven throughout this personal collection of recipes,” says award-winning vegetarian chef Amy Chaplin. Each chapter celebrates an aromatic herb or flower, including basil, cilantro, fennel, mint, oregano, rosemary, sage, thyme, lavender, jasmine, rose, and orange blossom. Mollie Katzen, author of the beloved Moosewood Cookbook, calls the book “a gift, articulated through a poetic voice, original and bold.” The recipes tell a coming-of-age story through Lily’s kinship with plants, from a sun-drenched Maui childhood to healing from heartbreak and her mother’s death. With bright flavors, gorgeous scents, evocative stories, and more than one hundred photographs, Kale & Caramel creates a lush garden of experience open to harvest year round.

The Passover Haggadah

The Passover Haggadah
Title The Passover Haggadah PDF eBook
Author Vanessa L. Ochs
Publisher Princeton University Press
Total Pages 226
Release 2020-03-17
Genre Religion
ISBN 0691144982

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"This telling of the life of the Haggadah, probably the most beloved of books that Jews own, chronicles its recalibrations over time. It moves from its early sources in the Bible and rabbinic literature; to the years it was a handwritten manuscript; to its life as an illuminated book in the middle ages; to its emergence as mass-produced printed book and later, as an artist's book; to its iterations in the twentieth century in America and Israel, including those using emerging technologies of our day. It is the story of a liturgical text came about to fulfill a biblical injunction to fathers to tell the story of the Exodus from Egypt to their children (literally, to their sons): "And you shall tell your son on that day, 'It is because of what the Lord did for me when I went free from Egypt'" (Exodus 13:8). Despite significant flaws in the text that have occasioned thousands of revisions, it remains well and alive because it allows its users to transmit the story of Exodus as if it happened to them. With a Haggadah in hand at a Passover seder meal, the text kindles the memory of belonging to a people who knew slavery and then liberation and enlivens empathy. An engagement with the Haggadah, inevitable leaves one feeling responsible for helping others to achieve their own liberation".

The Newish Jewish Encyclopedia

The Newish Jewish Encyclopedia
Title The Newish Jewish Encyclopedia PDF eBook
Author Stephanie Butnick
Publisher Artisan
Total Pages 883
Release 2019-10-01
Genre Religion
ISBN 1579659535

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Named one of Library Journal’s Best Religion & Spirituality Books of the Year An Unorthodox Guide to Everything Jewish Deeply knowing, highly entertaining, and just a little bit irreverent, this unputdownable encyclopedia of all things Jewish and Jew-ish covers culture, religion, history, habits, language, and more. Readers will refresh their knowledge of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs, the artistry of Barbra Streisand, the significance of the Oslo Accords, the meaning of words like balaboosta,balagan, bashert, and bageling. Understand all the major and minor holidays. Learn how the Jews invented Hollywood. Remind themselves why they need to read Hannah Arendt, watch Seinfeld, listen to Leonard Cohen. Even discover the secret of happiness (see “Latkes”). Includes hundreds of photos, charts, infographics, and illustrations. It’s a lot.