"Now a major motion picture from Twentieth Century Fox"--Cover.

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE FROM 20TH CENTURY FOX Two reckless but lovable all-American bros make a strong case for maturing slowly through their outrageous yet enlightening misadventures across this great country of ours. My brother and I are looking for wedding dates for our cousin’s wedding. We’ve been told by the bride that bringing dates is “mandatory” so we “won’t harass all of my friends all night” and “stay under control.” Rather than ask some fringe women in our lives to go and face the inevitable ‘does this mean he wants to take it to the next level?!’ questions, we’d rather bring complete strangers and just figure it out… We’re both in our 20s, single, dashingly tall, Anglo-Saxon, respectfully athletic, love to party, completely house trained…love our mother, have seen Love Actually several times…raw, emotional, sensitive, but still bad boys.…You should be attractive or our aunts will judge you, but not TOO attractive or one of our uncles might grope you. Dave and Mike Stangle thought nothing of it when they boozily decided to turn to the “activity partners” section of Craigslist to solicit dates to their cousin’s wedding. The hilarious, out-of-this-world ad that they came up with—featuring a picture of the two brothers as centaurs—immediately went viral, eventually landing these Wayfarers-wearing, moped-riding, completely reckless but ultimately loveable bros in the annals of the “Internet famous.” In Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, the Stangle brothers bring their trademark, off-color humor to everything from their most embarrassing adolescent experiences (like getting beat up by a girl on their front lawn...in front of their dad), to the most outrageous predicaments (like tripping on mushrooms with their bulldog, Frank), to proper sexting etiquette, and finally to breaking up a midget bar fight (you have to shoo them away). With the incredible comedic chemistry of Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers and the uncensored honesty of Tucker Max, Mike and Dave insist there’s nothing wrong with just seeing where life takes you.

No book can guarantee you a long and happy relationship, even if the author didn't know about your secret hygiene problem. But the cover of a book is no place to discuss that. In Dave Barry's Guide to Marriage and/or Sex, one of America's most beloved writers turns his keen, if somewhat rheumy, eye to the institution of marriage. Dating. "These are nonstereotypical times we live in, by which I mean that it is the responsibility of the woman to think up excuses that get progressively more obvious until the man figures out that the woman would rather chew on a rat pancreas." Sex. "I'm afraid that we must talk here about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the Frontiers of Human Understanding, and also we want to sell as many books as possible to adolescent boys." Marriage. "Most squabbles start with money. For example, you want to buy food, while your spouse wants to buy a thoroughbred racehorse. It's important, in these situations, for both of you to be willing to sit down and try to achieve a workable compromise. In this case, you could buy a thoroughbred racehorse and eat it."

Contains the complete and unabridged texts of: Dave Barry's guide to marriage and/or sex, Babies and other hazards of sex, Stay fit and healthy until you're dead, and Claw your way to the top.