I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus

I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus
Title I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus PDF eBook
Author S.G. Browne
Publisher Simon and Schuster
Total Pages 203
Release 2012-10-30
Genre Fiction
ISBN 147670872X

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Just in time for the holidays—a hilarious Christmas novella and sequel to the author’s highly acclaimed Breathers, “a zombie comedy with brains” (Kirkus Reviews). “One of America’s best satiric novelists” (Kirkus Reviews), S. G. Browne seamlessly gift wraps this horrific and hilarious sequel to his “extremely strong” (Publishers Weekly, starred review) zombie novel Breathers. He sees you when you’re sleeping . . . he knows when you’re undead. How does the leader of a failed zombie civil rights movement from California rescue a group of his undead brethren and help a lonely Breather girl as he hides from a band of medical researchers while disguised as Santa Claus? If you’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, then you wouldn’t understand. Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost but who thinks he’s the real Santa. He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice. . . .

I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus

I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus
Title I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus PDF eBook
Author Matt Mogk
Publisher Simon and Schuster
Total Pages 32
Release 2013-10-01
Genre Humor
ISBN 1628734914

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I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus is a new spin on a holiday classic that tells the story of a suburban zombie outbreak and the little boy who knows just what to do. When Johnny finds out that his mother has turned into a zombie and has attacked Santa Claus, he knows that it’s up to him to put the living dead (back) to rest. While the chaos spreads from the mall to the Christmas parade, Johnny finds his friends Glenn, Barb, and Ben, and they devise a plan to not only protect themselves—and their dog—but to make sure to get to Grandma’s house before the zombies take over town. While they’ve planned for the worst, nothing could prepare them for watching jolly old Saint Nick get devoured by mindless zombies. This clever take on a Christmas tradition is right up the alley of anyone who ever wondered what would happen if a zombie outbreak took place during the holiday season. I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus is a beautifully gory tale that’s sure to become a classic for fans of the holidays and the living dead.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies
Title It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies PDF eBook
Author Michael P. Spradlin
Publisher Harper Collins
Total Pages 100
Release 2009-10-13
Genre Humor
ISBN 006198602X

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The snow is falling, the holidays are approaching and…It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies! This delightfully depraved book of classic Zombie Christmas carols by Michael P. Spradlin is guaranteed to spread Yuletide cheer to all those good boys and ghouls who devoured the monster New York Times bestsellers Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and World War Z, as well as fans of 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead. With an introduction by the inimitable Christopher Moore—bestselling author of Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, andthe classic “heartwarming tale of Christmas terror” The Stupidest Angel—It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies is a great gift for stuffing into a Christmas stocking…provided you remove the bloody severed foot first!

Big Egos

Big Egos
Title Big Egos PDF eBook
Author S.G. Browne
Publisher Simon and Schuster
Total Pages 384
Release 2013-08-06
Genre Fiction
ISBN 1476711771

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The brand-new novel from the author of Lucky Bastard and Breathers—“one of today’s very best writers” (Jonathan Maberry). Does your lifestyle not fit the person inside you? Then try someone else on for size! Call him whatever. Call him whomever. He can be any legally authorized fictional character or dead celebrity he wants for six to eight hours, simply by injecting a DNA-laced cocktail into his brain stem. It’s called Big Egos and it’s the ultimate role-playing fantasy from Engineering Genetics Organization and Systems (aka EGOS.) And, as one of the quality controllers for EGOS, he’s the ultimate ego-tripper, taking on more artificial identities than advisable—and having a hell of a time doing it. Problem is, he’s starting to lose the ability to separate fact from fiction. His every fantasy is the new reality. And the more roles he plays, the less of him remains. Sure, it’s dangerous. Yes, he’s probably losing his mind. Okay, hundreds of others could be at risk. But sometimes who you are isn’t good enough. And the truth is, reality is so overrated. . . . With his insightful wit, smart humor, and electrifying narrative, acclaimed author S. G. Browne takes readers on a satirical and provocative trip into the not-too-distant future, where, for some, pretending to be someone you’re not is just another day at the office.

Lucky Bastard

Lucky Bastard
Title Lucky Bastard PDF eBook
Author S.G. Browne
Publisher Simon and Schuster
Total Pages 369
Release 2013-06-18
Genre Fiction
ISBN 1476733546

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"A radically funny, irreverent, satirical novel about a loan shark who is able to steal people's luck--perfect for fans of bestselling authors Christopher Moore and Chuck Palahniuk. Nick Monday is a private detective with a penchant for coffeehouse baristas and the ability to steal other people's luck. Politicians and celebrities. Lottery winners and game show contestants. Accident survivors and successful athletes. All it takes is a handshake and Nick walks away with their good fortune, which he sells on the black market to the highest bidder. But lately, business has been slow. So when the sexy daughter of San Francisco's mayor offers Nick $100,000 to find her father's stolen luck, Nick thinks this is his big break. But he soon ends up blackmailed by the feds, kidnapped by the Chinese mafia, and accosted by vegans and angry naked women with knives ... all while trying to save a ten-year-old kid with the purest luck he's ever seen. Hailed as "pitch-perfect" by The Washington Post and deemed "one of America's best satiric novelists" by Kirkus Reviews, Browne's masterful combination of humor and biting social commentary make for an irresistible read"--

Fated

Fated
Title Fated PDF eBook
Author S.G. Browne
Publisher Penguin
Total Pages 252
Release 2010-11-02
Genre Fiction
ISBN 1101477911

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From the acclaimed author of Breathers--an irreverent novel about fate, destiny, and the karmic consequences of getting involved with humans. Over the past few thousand years, Fabio has come to hate his job. As Fate, he's in charge of assigning the fortunes and misfortunes that befall most of the human race-the 83% who keep screwing things up. Frustrated with his endless parade of drug addicts and career politicians, Fate has to watch Destiny guide her people to Nobel Peace Prizes and Super Bowl MVPs. To make matters worse, he has a five- hundred-year-old feud with Death, and his best friends are Sloth and Gluttony. And worst of all? He's fallen in love with a human. Getting involved with a human breaks Rule #1, and about ten others, setting off some cosmic-sized repercussions that could strip him of his immortality-or lead to a fate worse than death.

Breathers

Breathers
Title Breathers PDF eBook
Author S. G. Browne
Publisher Hachette UK
Total Pages 320
Release 2011-03-03
Genre Fiction
ISBN 0748123547

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Meet Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie. Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence. But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the formaldehyde in cosmetic products, and Jerry, a twenty-one-year-old car crash victim with an exposed brain and a penchant for Renaissance pornography. When the group meets a rogue zombie who teaches them the joys of human flesh, things start to get messy, and Andy embarks on a journey of self-discovery that will take him from his casket, to the SPCA, to a media-driven class-action lawsuit on behalf of the rights of zombies everywhere.