The ultimate guide to manners in the real world! Is it rude to keep checking your phone during lunch with a friend? Are handwritten thank-you notes still necessary? A respected etiquette coach solves these modern dilemmas and more-including issues unique to our times, such as privacy and cyberspace, personal interaction in a diverse society, and professional protocol around the globe.

An “extremely funny” take on the decline of civility, from the #1 New York Times–bestselling author of How the Hell Did This Happen? (The Plain Dealer). In Modern Manners, cultural guru P. J. O’Rourke provides the essential accessory for the truly contemporary man or woman—a rulebook for living in a world without rules. Traditionally, good manners were a means of becoming as bland and invisible as everyone else, thus avoiding calling attention to one’s own awkwardness and stupidity. Today, with everyone wanting to appear special, stupidity is at a premium, and manners—as outrageous and bizarre as possible—are a wonderful way to distinguish ourselves, or at least have a fine time trying. This irreverent and hilarious guide to anti-etiquette offers pointed advice on topics from sex and entertaining to reading habits and death. With the most up-to-date forms of vulgarity, churlishness, and presumption, the latest fashions in discourtesy and barbarous display, O’Rourke is our guide to the art of incivility. “Modern Manners is O’Rourke doing what he has always done: making hilarious, insightful, often vicious fun of the world and all its inhabitants.” —People “A reader who rushes through [Modern Manners] from cover to cover—like I did—will feel like a child who has gorged on chocolate cake: happy, but a bit disappointed that it’s all gone. The reason O’Rourke’s book is so successful, however, is not just his great sense of humor. O’Rourke’s writing has a cutting edge behind it, which makes a reader’s laughter just a bit thought-provoking, and just a bit rueful . . . Very funny.” —Chicago Tribune

The secret to self-confidence is to know and understand the rules of social engagement before you're in the middle of an uncomfortable situation. Do you know how to: Pick the right fork? Shine at a networking event? Write a Thank you Note? Shake hands? RSVP to an invitation? Say no to a request for a favor?Use social media with clarity?Behave at a sporting event? Say the perfect thing at a funeral?Smoke a cigar in public? Etiquette isn't just something you need on formal occasions. It's a blueprint for how to behave every day, in every situation, to make interactions between people smooth and pleasant, with no ruffled feathers, misunderstandings or hurt feelings. It helps you smoothly transition from college to corporate life, and from professional obligations to personal ones. Etiquette doesn't exist to add a layer of extra rules to life—it's there to guide us to treat each other with kindness and consideration in our personal and professional lives.

Advice geared to contemporary living on correct behavior in a wide variety of situations.

Never again hesitate when selecting a fork from a fancy place setting, making a formal introduction, hosting a business dinner, or dining on awkward foods. The experts at Washington's School of Protocol will save you from embarrassing future faux pas! Full-color illustrations.

Revised edition of the best-seller, with a new chapter and new recipes on Tea Parties for Children - the authoritative guide to the etiquette of taking tea for business or pleasure.