After Jesus of Nazareth fed the five thousand with five loaves and two fishes (Lk. 9:10-17), his apostles collected twelve wicker baskets of leftover fragments. The perfection of these numbers - seven and twelve - indicates the Divine Abundance of everything that comes from the hands of God. Mystics of the ancient Orient also knew of Divine Abundance. They called this mystery Saccidannda, a Hindu term that connotes the divine Bliss (Ananda) that arises within us when our Awareness (Chit) rests in Being (Sat), not in thinking. The experience of Saccidannda is what Jesus meant when he said, 'The kingdom of God is within you' (Lk. 17:28). One way of entering the kingdom of God, or experiencing Saccidannda, is to contemplate the Mystery of Presence. Presence, like the Mystery of God, is impossible to describe, yet, is as undeniable as it is indefinable. Presence is the experience of being completely empty of thought and devoid of agenda. Presence is the experience of transcendental Awareness that intuits the infinity of Being, and imparts such Divine Bliss that we sense it can only be coming from God. This book is a collection of fragments gleaned from the experience of Presence. They are given here to help the reader be present, and grow in contemplative prayer.

Heidi Neumark’s life changed when a few computer keystrokes exposed generations of family secrets, raising questions she could not answer: How did she never know of her grandfather’s murder? Or that her grandmother was a death-camp survivor? Why had the family history and faith been hidden? What did this mean for her work as a pastor, community organizer, and advocate with marginalized and oppressed communities? Seeking answers to these questions, Heidi traveled across the ocean and into the depths of her soul to encounter a family and spiritual heritage she never knew she had. For any who have had secrets, closeted identities, and silence shape their lives, Heidi’s journey is more than a spellbinding memoir. It’s also a courageous call to discover what can happen when all that has been hidden is finally brought to life.