I've divorced better men than you. And worn more expensive shoes than these. So don't think placing this ad is the biggest comedown I've ever had to make. Sensitive F, 34. Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on the inside seeks woman on the outside who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of out-patients. 30-35. Leeds. They Call Me Naughty Lola is a testament to the creativity and humor that can still be found among men and women longing for love and allergic to the concepts of Internet and speed dating. Here is an irresistible collection of the most brilliant and often absurd personal ads from the world's funniest -- and most erudite -- lonely-hearts column. The ads have been called "surreal haikus of the heart," and in an age of false advertising, the men and women who write them are hindered neither by high expectations nor by positivism of any kind. And yet, while hopes of finding a suitable mate remain low, the column has produced a handful of marriages, many friendships, and at least one divorce. Here are the young, old, fat, bald, healthy, ill, rich, and poor hoping that they can find true love, or at the very least, someone to call them Naughty Lola.

Since 1998, the world's most erudite readers have congregated in the small ads section of the London Review of Books in the hope of finding love. This text brings together the work of the 'edgy', the 'irascible' and the 'flatulent' to provide a glimpse into the most notorious, endearing and funny lonely hearts ads.

Charlie has this little sister, Lola. Lola has been playing with Charlie’s very special rocket. Charlie says, “Did you break my rocket?” Lola says, “You absolutely told me to not ever never touch it… ever.”

Woman, 36. WLTM man who doesn't try to high-five her after sex.Personal ads - men and women of all ages, backgrounds and aspirations, laying their souls bare and their hearts on the line - are the modern world's equivalent of the Japanese haiku... Or something like that, anyway. Painstakingly crafted, finely honed and, above all, short, they offer an endearing, intriguing and, often, amusing glimpse into the lives of those looking for love. Amid the witty one-liners and laugh-out-punchlines, there is pathos and passion aplenty; there is hope, longing and even good old-fashioned lust; there is romance, regret, ambition, and, occasionally, a hint of bitterness. Whatever the tone, however, these ads make for engrossing reading. Organised into themes (Mentally, I'm a size eight and Forty years ago I was going to marry Elvis) and fully annotated, Sexually, I'm more of a Switzerland is the perfect gift for the man or woman in your life - as well as single friends everywhere.

Willie Nelson says, "Billy Joe Shaver may be the best songwriter alive today." And legions of fans agree. "Honky Tonk Hero" is the story of a man who not only walked on the wild side and lived to tell about it, but also got it all down in songs that many people consider to be some of the finest country songs ever written.

Straight from British shores, here is another dose of love, or the lack of it, from the pages of the London Review of Books. The editor of They Call Me Naughty Lola has cooked up yet another irresistible collection of brilliant, bawdy and often absurd personal ads from the world's funniest, and smartest, lonely-hearts column. These ads prove that even if you're lonely, you don't have to be boring, as advertisers in this book demand much more than long walks on the beach and candlelit dinners from their potential mates. Arranged by theme ('The Usual Hyperbole and a Whiff of Playful Narcissism'), and including footnotes to obscure references, Sexually, I'm More of a Switzerland promises to be 'a naughty treat' (Entertainment Weekly).