“Lays out a plan for parents to enjoy themselves and not be slaves to their children while still offering their kids a warm, nurturing environment.” —Publishers Weekly Parents were here first! How did the kids suddenly take control? Sure the world has changed from the days when children were supposed to be seen and not heard but things have gotten a little out of hand. What about some quality time for the grownups? Author Christie Mellor’s hilarious, personal, refreshing, and actually quite useful advice delightfully rights the balance between parent and child. In dozens of short, wickedly funny chapters, she skewers today’s parental absurdities and reminds us how to make child-rearing a kick. With recipes, helpful hints, and illustrations, this high-spirited book is the only book parents will really need—and enjoy. Includes chapters on: Screaming: Is It Necessary? Bedtime: Is Five-Thirty Too Early? Child Labor: Not Just for the Third World! “Children’s Music”: Why? . . . and much, much more “Harried mothers who have given over their lives to their adorable little angels, beware: This book is the equivalent of a cocktail in the face . . . The book details the glories of saying no to your children, explains when you’ve gone too far in childproofing your home, laments our over-reliance on camcorders (‘a disease’) and suggests that the Tooth Fairy is getting robbed. Best of all, there’s a recipe for teaching your tot how to mix a simple martini just the way you like it—with lots of alcohol.” —Chicago Sun-Times

The author of The Three-Martini Playdate “delivers another clever, tongue-in-cheek self-help . . . Laughs and lessons for the beleaguered mom and dad” (Publishers Weekly). Chill the glasses! Christie Mellor is back with more irreverent and useful advice about life with children. Wickedly funny essays offer helpful advice on harnessing the energy of toddlers-gone-wild: on vacation, out to dinner, even just when grandmother stops by for a visit. Parents will relearn the art of traveling, socializing, and eating out like adults . . . sometimes with well-behaved children in tow. In dozens of short, kicky chapters like Cocktail Parties: Actually for Grown-ups! and The Theme Park Vacation: A Last Resort, Christie Mellor gently reminds parents that family vacations can truly be fun. Praise for The Three-Martini Playdate “Harried mothers who have given over their lives to their adorable little angels, beware: This book is the equivalent of a cocktail in the face . . . The book details the glories of saying no to your children, explains when you’ve gone too far in childproofing your home, laments our over-reliance on camcorders (‘a disease’) and suggests that the Tooth Fairy is getting robbed. Best of all, there’s a recipe for teaching your tot how to mix a simple martini just the way you like it—with lots of alcohol.” —Chicago Sun-Times

Christie Mellor describes the new-found freedoms to be had when your adult children move out.

Christie Mellor, the bestselling author of The Three-Martini Playdate and Raised by Wolves, says You Look Fine, Really—and offers a droll, get-real guide to embracing and enjoying the adventure of mid-life. Complete with grooming shortcuts, tips on being your own personal trainer, and perfect party recipes, You Look Fine, Really provides witty and wise advice on how to add a sense of play and celebration to the everyday.

“Amy Wilson’s hilarious, tender memoir…had me laughing out loud with recognition. She captures the small moments of motherhood in a way that is both funny and thought-provoking.” —Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project From the creator and star of the one-woman off-Broadway show Mother Load, comes When Did I Get Like This?, a screamingly funny take on being a modern woman, wife, and mother told with “a level of hilarity that even non-moms can appreciate” (Time Out). Amy Wilson’s poignant and provocative, utterly outrageous look at “the Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I’d Never Be” has already earned an appreciative response from Three-Martini Playdate author Christie Mellor, who calls it, “As entertaining as it is reassuring.”

Each month, more than half a million readers turn to the 25 mommyblogs featured in this collection for advice and a sense of camaraderie, and this anthology brings together their best and brightest essays, ranging in style from snort-Diet-Coke-out-the-nose funny to poignant and bittersweet. Written to be read during the mind-bogglingly short breaks parents get during their busy days, these pieces will help moms find solace in a wide range of viewpoints and issues not often discussed in mainstream magazines and other parenting books. From dealing with rage to negotiating sleeping arrangements to the frustration and joy of parenting a special needs child, this is the perfect read for the hip but harried mother that says "you are still you."

Hello, boys and girls, and welcome to the wonderful world of words! You've learned the basics—from apple to zebra—but what about all those mysterious new terms you've heard the grown-ups whispering when you were supposed to be tucked up snugly in bed? What makes Mommy so bitter? Where does Daddy conceal the door to his secret S&M dungeon? And why is everyone laughing about Grandma's latest delusion? My First Dictionary answers these questions, and includes many other useful definitions, such as: A burden is a source of worry or stress. Old people are usually burdens. Father is nostalgic. He is remembering the happier times before you were born. A puppy is a young dog. Connie gets a puppy every time she agrees not to tell. Daddy calls them hush puppies. A zigzag is a jagged line. We can tell that Mother has been drinking when she drives in a zigzag pattern. Carry a copy of My First Dictionary in your schoolbag and you'll never be at a loss for words again!