Co-dependency—of which enabling is a major element—can and does exist in families where there is no chemical dependency. Angelyn Miller’s own experience is a dramatic example: neither she nor her husband drank, yet her family was floundering in that same dynamic. In spite of her best efforts to fix everything (and everyone), the turmoil continued until she discovered that helping wasn’t helping. Miller recounts how she learned to alter the way she responded to family crises and general neediness, forever breaking the cycle of co-dependency. Offering insights, practical techniques, and hope, she shows us how we can transform enabling relationships into healthy ones.

With more than 300,000 copies in print, When Helping Hurts is a paradigm-forming contemporary classic on the subject of poverty alleviation. Poverty is much more than simply a lack of material resources, and it takes much more than donations and handouts to solve it. When Helping Hurts shows how some alleviation efforts, failing to consider the complexities of poverty, have actually (and unintentionally) done more harm than good. But it looks ahead. It encourages us to see the dignity in everyone, to empower the materially poor, and to know that we are all uniquely needy—and that God in the gospel is reconciling all things to himself. Focusing on both North American and Majority World contexts, When Helping Hurts provides proven strategies for effective poverty alleviation, catalyzing the idea that sustainable change comes not from the outside in, but from the inside out.

Gentle counsel and realistic advice for families contending with one of today's most misunderstood forms of mental illness. For family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies--common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder--leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless. In Stop Walking on Eggshells, Randi Kreger's pioneering first book which sold more than 340,000 copies, she and co-author Paul T. Mason outlined the fundamental differences in the way that people with BPD relate to the world. Now, with The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, Kreger takes readers to the next level by offering them five straightforward tools to organize their thinking, learn specific skills, and focus on what they need to do to get off the emotional rollercoaster: (1) Take care of yourself; (2) Uncover what keeps you feeling stuck; (3) Communicate to be heard; (4) Set limits with love; and (5) Reinforce the right behaviors. Together the steps provide a clear-cut system designed to help friends and family reduce stress, improve their relationship with their borderline loved one, improve their problem-solving skills and minimize conflict, and feel more self-assured about setting limits.

Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are "walking on eggshells" to avoid the next confrontation? If the answer is "yes," someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD). Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped nearly half a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this destructive disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. This fully revised edition has been updated with the very latest BPD research and includes coping and communication skills you can use to stabilize your relationship with the BPD sufferer in your life. This compassionate guide will enable you to: Make sense out of the chaos Stand up for yourself and assert your needs Defuse arguments and conflicts Protect yourself and others from violent behavior

Do you feel burdened by the unrelenting urge to always feel useful and helpful? Do you worry for others to the point of suffocating them? Or do you know someone who, knowingly or unknowingly, acts like ‘oxygen on legs’ for everyone in their life? This is what happens when as a culture, we are trained to deny our own needs and pay more attention to the needs of others. This can be extremely exhausting and self-violating. When Being Too Nice Becomes A Vice written by Nirmal Yadav, deals with the delicate subject of ‘the helper needing help’ in a precise and in-depth manner. It’s about taking our normal human concern too far, crossing others’ boundaries or allowing others to cross yours. Nirmal Yadav, a trained counsellor with an experience of over twenty-five years, through the course of this book, provides some eye-opening insights into self-sacrificing behavioural patterns and the excessive guilt surrounding self-care issues. She also talks about why it is important to help yourself before helping anyone else. This work ably guides and shows how we can transform the painful patterns of co-dependence (i.e. dependence on others and approval seeking behaviour), live a more meaningful and joyful life, and learn to love ourselves.

Based on the author's own experience as a parent with an addicted child, she provides straight-talking self-preservation tools and techniques for parents of addicts in and out of recovery. An essential book to help parents navigate this confusing and uncharted landscape—in the author's words, "Planet Paradox." Barbara Victoria is a parent who struggled with her own child's addiction. She has been active in Al-Anon for many years.

In the vein of Adult Children of Alcoholics comes the first book geared specifically to the siblings of alcoholics. Patricia Olsen, sister of two alcoholic brothers, shares her personal experiences along with interviews with other sober siblings, while Petros Levounis, M.D., the director of The Addiction Institute of New York and chief of addiction psychology at St. Luke's and Roosevelt Hospitals in New York City, offers expert advice. Whether the alcoholic is in recovery or relapsed, in AA or therapy, Sober Siblings helps brothers and sisters gain greater awareness of their own situation, offering practical wisdom and suggestions on: feelings of shame, frustration, hopelessness, and anger; the difference between helping and enabling; setting boundaries; the nature of alcoholism; coaddictions; and how to help your sibling while not losing yourself.