Humans are excellent liars. We don’t like to think of ourselves as capable of lying; it hurts us too much to admit. So we lie to ourselves about that, too. As a clinical psychologist, I am regularly confronted with the brutal truth that we all lie. I am not talking about deliberate, bold-faced lying. No, this type of dishonesty is far harder to detect and admit. It is the kind of lying that comes from not being psychologically strong enough to be honest with ourselves about who we are. And I believe that it is our biggest obstacle to living a fulfilling life. I wrote this book for anyone interested in becoming more honest. In it, I present a range of self-deceptive examples couched in psychological theory to help us explore ourselves. Although it is a relatively short book, indented to be read in about an hour, I hope that the content provokes deep thought. For when we are honest about who we really are, we have the opportunity to change.

"In The Lies We Tell Ourselves, psychotherapist Jon Frederickson reveals the ways we fool ourselves and how to get unstuck. Through dozens of stories and examples, he demonstrates that the apparent cause of our problems is almost never the real cause. In addition, he reveals what we really fear and how to face it. In the spirit of Stephen Grosz and Irving Yalom, Frederickson shows how to recognize the lies we tell ourselves and face the truths we have avoided--and stop saying yes when we really mean no."--Amazon.com.

A penetrating analysis of the dark corners of human deception, enlivened by intriguing case histories and experiments.

In 1959 Virginia, Sarah, a black student who is one of the first to attend a newly integrated school, forces Linda, a white integration opponent's daughter, to confront harsh truths when they work together on a school project.

We lie to ourselves every day, and these lies can lead to significant unhappiness in our lives. In Lies, authors Bridget Harwell and Elizabeth Scott present a collection of more than forty essays based on their daily interactions with clients who have suffered the pain of digging deeply and unearthing the self-deceptions that have limited their lives. Harwell and Scott, two successful, practicing psychologists, compiled the essays to examine the various forms of self-deception, many of which are unconscious attempts at self-protection which can go unnoticed and yet lead to stress and unhappiness. Accompanied by whimsical and evocative drawings, Lies examines a variety of themes, such as guilt, worry, indecision, and the power of relationships. Each piece is followed by a conversation between Harwell and Scott that seeks to add clarity to the discussion. Written in a conversational style that mimics a therapy session, this collection presents strategies for finding the truth beneath the lies we tell ourselves and gives us an opportunity to live a more integrated life, a life of authenticity thats essential for any kind of true happiness.

Readers of Richard Dawkins and Steven Pinker will find much to intrigue them in this fascinating book, which declares that our extraordinary ability to deceive others - and even our selves - 'lies' at the heart of our humanity.

A Behavioral Scientist Notable Book of 2021 A Next Big Idea Club Best Nonfiction of 2021 From the New York Times best-selling author and host of Hidden Brain comes a thought-provoking look at the role of self-deception in human flourishing. Self-deception does terrible harm to us, to our communities, and to the planet. But if it is so bad for us, why is it ubiquitous? In Useful Delusions, Shankar Vedantam and Bill Mesler argue that, paradoxically, self-deception can also play a vital role in our success and well-being. The lies we tell ourselves sustain our daily interactions with friends, lovers, and coworkers. They can explain why some people live longer than others, why some couples remain in love and others don’t, why some nations hold together while others splinter. Filled with powerful personal stories and drawing on new insights in psychology, neuroscience, and philosophy, Useful Delusions offers a fascinating tour of what it really means to be human.