'Dearest Lumpy, I hope you are plump and well. Your mother bashed her car yesterday and chooses to believe it was not her fault...' Roger Mortimer's witty dressing-downs and affectionate advice were not only directed at his wayward son, Lupin. Though better behaved than her mischievous older brother, Louise (aka 'Lumpy') still caused her father to reach for his typewriter. The trials and tribulations of Louise's days at boarding school, her eventful wedding to Hot¬Hand-Henry and the birth of his grandchildren are all accompanied by a sometimes chiding, but always loving letter. Between these milestones, Roger gives updates on the family, pets and the local gossip, holds forth on the weather, road safety, and even suggests the best way to make a gravy soup, all in his own inimitable style. With the same unique charm and often snort-inducing humour that made Dear Lupin a bestseller, Roger Mortimer guides and supports his daughter through every scrape she found herself in. Hilarious and instantly familiar, Dear Lumpy is a perfect example of the glorious art of letter writing, and the timeless relationship between father and daughter.

"Among the funniest [letters] ever dispatched in the vain hope of steering a black sheep onto something like the straight and narrow." —The Wall Street Journal Nostalgic, witty, and original, Dear Lupin by Roger Mortimer and Charlie Mortimer tracks the entire correspondence between a father and his only son. When the book begins, Charlie, the son, is studying at Eton, although the studying itself is not a priority, much to his father's chagrin. After Charlie graduates and moves from South America to Africa and eventually back to London, Roger continues to write regularly, offering advice (which is rarely heeded) as well as humorous updates from home ("Your mother has had the flu. Her little plan to give up spirits for Lent lasted three and a half days"). Roger's letters range from reproachful ("You may think it mildly amusing to be caught poaching in the park; I would consider it more hilarious if you were not living on the knife edge") to resigned ("I am very fond of you, but you do drive me round the bend"), but his correspondence is always filled with warmth, humor, and wisdom that offers unique insight into the relationship between father and son.

'Dearest Lumpy, I hope you are plump and well. Your mother bashed her car yesterday and chooses to believe it was not her fault.' Roger Mortimer's witty dressing-downs and affectionate advice were not only directed at his wayward son, Lupin. Though better behaved than her mischievous older brother, Louise (aka 'Lumpy') still caused her father to reach for his typewriter. With the same unique charm and often snort-inducing humour that made 'Dear Lupin' a bestseller, Roger Mortimer's letters guide and support his daughter through every scrape she found herself in.

"With the same unique charm and often snort-inducing humour that made Dear Lupin a bestseller, Roger Mortimer guides and supports his daughter through every scrape she found herself in. Hilarious and instantly familiar, Dear Lumpy is a perfect example of the glorious art of letter writing, and the timeless relationship between father & daughter."--Back cover.

As the eldest daughter of a prolific letter writer, Jane Torday received hundreds of letters from her father over the years. From irreverent advice and hilarious family anecdotes to moments of great poignancy, Roger Mortimer`s missives are a touching and witty portrait of his life and relationships over the years. Dearest Jane begins with Roger?s time as a young army officer in Egypt, and then as a POW in the Second World War, where his sense of humour endured despite the conditions. Jane accompanies her father?s letters with her own memories and anecdotes, as we meet familiar characters such as Nidnod, Lupin and Lumpy, and learn more about the extended family, friends and pets who leap from the pages of his letters. This is an arresting and extraordinary record, not only of Roger Mortimer?s life but also of the history of an entire family between 1960 and 1991. Sparkling with the dry wit for which Mortimer?s letters are famous, and accompanied by an affectionate personal portrait, this book will delight both old and new readers.

Lumpy-eared:Elephants do not believe in borders like birds, but they can not fly. Do you think that free and border less life is possible only in the heavens? Cuckoo:I'm not saying it's completely true. My mother took refuge in the sky like a beautiful palm tree!– A beautiful palm, which, although rooted in the soil, spreads its green leaves in the farthest point of the earth, in the blue sky! My mother also took refuge in the sky because the earth was not a safe place for her; the earth captivated her while the sky freed her; never the less,she was always thinking about her land, where she said goodbye to her father and husband! She always missed the ground because her root was in there, not the sky! ‘Lumpy-eared’An unheard of tale of the mysterious life and love between an elephant and a bird that grew up among migratory swallows;“Cuckoo” meets “Lumpy-eared” in the middle of migration and reaching her destination, and this acquaintance changes the course of their lives..“

*Why do other kids pick on me? *How can I zap these spots? *Why are my parents always fighting? *Why have my periods stopped?Find the answers to these and zillions of other questions on...Sex and growing up, weight and diet, relationships and family problems, smoking, drinking and drugs, stress and depression, and much, much more.BLreal questions drawn from over 8,500 emails sent to the award-winning teenagehealthfreak.org website, which has had over 6 million hits since its launch in 2000BLquestion-and-answer format - speaks directly to teenagersThe two existing Health Freak books - Diary of a Teenage Health Freak and Diary of the Other Health Freak - have sold over 1 million copies worldwide. They have also been translated into 22 foreign langauges, and were made into two six-part TV series for Channel 4.