Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes
Title Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes PDF eBook
Author Cory O'Brien
Publisher Penguin
Total Pages 306
Release 2013-03-05
Genre Humor
ISBN 039916040X

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From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms! All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. Still skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes
Title Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes PDF eBook
Author Cory O'Brien
Publisher Penguin
Total Pages 304
Release 2013-03-05
Genre Humor
ISBN 1101619678

Download Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes Book in PDF, Epub and Kindle

Get this: Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes
Title Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes PDF eBook
Author Cory O'Brien
Publisher Penguin
Total Pages 306
Release 2013-03-05
Genre Humor
ISBN 039916040X

Download Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes Book in PDF, Epub and Kindle

From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms! All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. Still skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

George Washington Is Cash Money

George Washington Is Cash Money
Title George Washington Is Cash Money PDF eBook
Author Cory O'Brien
Publisher Penguin
Total Pages 242
Release 2015-05-12
Genre Humor
ISBN 0698186702

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PREPARE TO BE BEAKED BY THE MAJESTIC EAGLE OF HISTORY Most of us are familiar with the greatest hits and legendary heroes of US history. In George Washington Is Cash Money, Cory O’Brien, author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, does away with the pomp and circumstance and calls America’s history what it is: one long, violent soap opera. In his signature clever, crude, and cuss-ridden style, O’Brien reminds us that: · Teddy Roosevelt stopped bullets with his manly chest · Harriet Tubman avoided danger by having prophetic seizures. · Joseph Smith invented Mormonism by staring into a hat full of rocks. · Billy the Kid was finally defeated by the smell of fresh bacon. And there’s plenty more Star Spangled stupidity where that came from.

Must Love Vampires

Must Love Vampires
Title Must Love Vampires PDF eBook
Author Heidi Betts
Publisher Kensington Publishing Corp.
Total Pages 317
Release 2011-10-24
Genre Fiction
ISBN 0758278519

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Love At First Bite Nightclub dancer Chloe Lamoureaux just met the man of her dreams: Aidan Raines is charming, considerate, rich, and hot. Of course, he's a little mysterious about his age. And his favorite drink. And he's not much for sunlight. But he's asked her to marry him, and she's ready to do it. Sure, she has a few secrets too--but they'll have plenty of time to work things out while they're living happily ever after. Right? Her identical twin sister, Chuck, isn't so sure. Maybe reporting for the local Bigfoot-sighting tabloid doesn't make her an expert, but to Chuck, Aidan and his brother Sebastian look like honest-to-Dracula vampires. Especially Sebastian: beguiling, seductive, and just a hint of dangerous. Maybe she wouldn't mind him taking a little taste. But with Chloe's life in the balance, she has to know--do they want hot love or hot blood? Or maybe. . .a little of both? Praise for The Bite Before Christmas "Enjoyable reading." --Romantic Times "Inventive, gently humorous, and fast-paced, this steamy paranormal anthology offers an alternative to the typical holiday fare; perfect for readers who want their romances on the edgy side." –Library Journal

Englishness Identified

Englishness Identified
Title Englishness Identified PDF eBook
Author Paul Langford
Publisher OUP Oxford
Total Pages 402
Release 2001
Genre History
ISBN 0199246408

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In the seventeenth century the English were often depicted as a nation of barbarians, fanatics, and king-killers. Two hundred years later they were more likely to be seen as the triumphant possessors of a unique political stability, vigorous industrial revolution, and a world-wide empire.These may have been British achievements; but the virtues which brought about this transformation tended to be perceived as specifically English. Ideas of what constituted Englishness changed from a stock notion of waywardness and unpredictability to one of discipline and dedication. The evolutionof the so-called national character - today once more the subject of scrutiny and debate - is traced through the impressions and analyses of foreign observers, and related to English ambitions and anxieties during a period of intense change.

The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind

The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind
Title The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind PDF eBook
Author Julian Jaynes
Publisher Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Total Pages 580
Release 2000-08-15
Genre Psychology
ISBN 0547527543

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National Book Award Finalist: “This man’s ideas may be the most influential, not to say controversial, of the second half of the twentieth century.”—Columbus Dispatch At the heart of this classic, seminal book is Julian Jaynes's still-controversial thesis that human consciousness did not begin far back in animal evolution but instead is a learned process that came about only three thousand years ago and is still developing. The implications of this revolutionary scientific paradigm extend into virtually every aspect of our psychology, our history and culture, our religion—and indeed our future. “Don’t be put off by the academic title of Julian Jaynes’s The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind. Its prose is always lucid and often lyrical…he unfolds his case with the utmost intellectual rigor.”—The New York Times “When Julian Jaynes . . . speculates that until late in the twentieth millennium BC men had no consciousness but were automatically obeying the voices of the gods, we are astounded but compelled to follow this remarkable thesis.”—John Updike, The New Yorker “He is as startling as Freud was in The Interpretation of Dreams, and Jaynes is equally as adept at forcing a new view of known human behavior.”—American Journal of Psychiatry