Got a belligerent bully on your back? Next time your paths cross, say "Every time I see a Dementor, I'm forced to relive our every encounter." Has that frenemy reared her ugly head? Tell her she's the fourth Unforgiveable Curse. Is a know-it-all giving you trouble? Arm yourself with "I can tell you didn't get an O.W.L. in Transfiguration. Otherwise you would've done something about your face." Whether you're a N.E.W.T.-level wizard or a wide-eyed witch still awaiting your Hogwarts acceptance letter, you've probably encountered a merciless Malfoy or despicable Dursley who makes your magical blood boil. If you've ever stood speechless as someone called you a talentless squib, a worthless git or a filthy mudblood, this is the book for you! Also available is the "Unofficial Harry Potter Love Notes Book: 75 Magical Lines to Charm Your Crush," if you're more of a hopeless romantic-type wizard or witch! https://amzn.to/2K88W2L(This book is a kid-friendly parody and is not affiliated in any way with any other official or unofficial Harry Potter book, J.K. Rowling, or Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc.)

The Unofficial Harry Potter Insults book now features additional pages, including "Tricks and Treats for Magical Bullies," as well as hilarious new illustrations and even more wicked insults such as, "You're a beast, but there's nothing fantastic about you." Got a belligerent bully on your back? Next time your paths cross say, "Every time I see a Dementor, I'm forced to relive our every encounter." Whether you're a N.E.W.T.-level wizard or a wide-eyed witch still awaiting your Hogwarts acceptance letter, you've probably encountered a merciless Malfoy or despicable Dursley who makes your magical blood boil. If you've ever stood speechless as someone called you a talentless squib, a worthless git or a filthy mudblood, The Unofficial Harry Potter Insults Handbook: 101 Comebacks For The Wicked Wizards And Witches In Your Life is the book for you! Also available is the "Unofficial Harry Potter Love Notes Book: 75 Magical Lines to Charm Your Crush," if you're more of a hopeless romantic-type wizard or witch!" https: //amzn.to/2K88W2L (This book is a kid-friendly parody and is not affiliated in any way with any other official or unofficial Harry Potter book, J.K. Rowling, or Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc.)

Dear underage witch or wizard, we are pleased to inform you that in October 2017 this book was magically refreshed and improved. Please find enclosed a list of all second-edition updates: Full-color illustrations, Additional pages including "Tricks and Treats for Magical Bullies," and Wicked new insults! Got a belligerent bully on your back? Next time your paths cross, say "Every time I see a Dementor, I'm forced to relive our every encounter." Whether you're a N.E.W.T.-level wizard or a wide-eyed witch still awaiting your Hogwarts acceptance letter, you've probably encountered a merciless Malfoy or despicable Dursley who makes your magical blood boil. If you've ever stood speechless as someone called you a talentless squib, a worthless git or a filthy mudblood, The Unofficial Harry Potter Insults Handbook: 101 Comebacks For The Wicked Wizards And Witches In Your Life is the book for you! NOTE: This is a picture book intended for any Harry Potter fan but geared toward younger audiences. This book is NOT affiliated in any way with any other official or unofficial Harry Potter book.

From the authors of "The Unofficial Harry Potter Insults Handbook," comes the guide that every young witch and wizard needs to help them navigate the most powerful magic of all: love. Does talking to that witty warlock make you feel like a Tongue-Tying Curse was cast upon on you? If so, arm yourself with a charming line like, "You must be a Niffler because you stole my heart." Does the mere sight of that witty witch make you feel like you've swallowed a Puking Pastille? Tell her, "You're so charming Professor Flitwick takes notes from you." Has your heart (and homework) been stolen by a dashing dark wizard? Say, "Are you a Dementor? Because I'd never recover from your kiss." Inside these magical, kid-friendly pages you'll find quizzes, romantic gift ideas and countless Potter-inspired love lines to build your confidence and help you tell that witch or wizard - or Muggle! - how you feel. So cast a Summoning Charm and get your hands on this book. Your lonely days of longing for love are about to go...EVANESCO! (This book is a parody and is not affiliated in any way with any other official or unofficial Harry Potter book, J.K. Rowling, or Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc.)

Just when you thought you knew all there was to know about cats comes the ultimate—and unexpected—guide to taking your cat into the wild. Here are cats walking on a leash. Cats hiking on a leash. Cats tramping through snow. Cats camping. Cats kayaking, canoeing, even surfing—yes, cats who love water. When animal writer and active hiker Laura Moss couldn’t find an online resource for hitting the trail with her cat, she created one. AdventureCats.org took off like wildfire, with attention from Wired, the Huffington Post, Outside magazine, BuzzFeed, and much more. Now, the book Adventure Cats—a collection of jaw-dropping photographs, inspiring stories of real-life cats, and all the how-to a cat owner needs—will take readers and their cats well beyond the backyard. Learn how to leash-train a cat. What to do if you encounter wildlife on the trail. Plus, winter safety tips, and how to bring a little bit of the outdoors to an indoor cat. The stories themselves are catnip for animal lovers, from Nanakuli, the one-eyed cat who hangs ten; to Georgie, a four-year-old gray tabby who lives on a sailboat; to Quandary, who not only insists on hiking with her family but also teaches them a valuable lesson: When you follow your cat’s natural tendency to wander, you experience the outdoors at a slower, richer pace. This book will delight every cat person, regardless of whether their pet is inclined to adventure. (Take the quiz at the beginning of the book to find out!)

Through a process of exhaustive man research he calls "keeping his eyes open," Dick Masterson has compiled a Magnum-size list of the ways men are better than women. It is an infallible compendium of man's greatness, filled with the most egregiously fallacious arguments ever put to words, but with some kind of miraculous, rock-solid man logic dripping like motor oil from every sentence. It is a manifesto more memorable than bullshit like High Fidelity or which Axe baby powder Maxim thinks you should slap on your nuts before clubbing, more chock-full of devastating man quotes than Oscar Wilde with two wangs. Most important, it is the only one of its kind. In Men Are Better Than Women, Dick Masterson dispenses logic from his man mouth into the eyes of his male readers like some kind of mighty mother man eagle with nutrient-rich word vomit. It's a book that makes you feel like driving a train into a dynamite factory and then tearing a telephone book apart with your bare hands, just because that's the way men have always done it. Masterson's chapters are simple and self-contained, demand no commitments from readers, and have an immediate payoff. Men Are Better Than Women is a dangerous work of satire -- not dangerous in a revolutionary sense, but dangerous in that it walks the razor-thin line between cruelty and absurdity. That line is called hilarious.