An experienced child psychiatrist shows parents how to end conflicts in their families. Inspires parents with real-life examples that will change the way parents think about and solve their familys problems. Teaches better ways to communicate and how to create a support network shows when its time to get professional help. Includes a comprehensive appendix with numerous helpful resources.

For some people, an argument with a loved one is a catastrophe, a sign that a relationship must surely be over, for others a heated discussion is a way of letting off steam, a way of ensuring that passion is kept alive. But what is 'normal' communication for couples? How can you get past the raised voices or silent disapproval, to listen and understand what is really being said by your partner? Relationships change over time, and the way we communicate does too. This practical, readable and sometimes humorous book, based on over 60 years of cumulative experience from Relate, the marriage guidance experts, will help couples to break free of old patterns of behaviour and avoid using words as weapons when the going gets tough. It will help encourage upfront discussion rather than resorting to nagging, and will give you the skills you need to understand what your partner is really trying to say to you - to bring discussion rather than confrontation back into your relationships.

This text aims to help readers to avoid arguments by identifying personal trigger points and turning heated rows into constructive discussions.

How do two well-meaning people who genuinely care about each other end up in a damaged, unsatisfying relationship? Every couple faces conflict. Most of the time, the root of the problem is that we’re not getting our needs met. And most of the time, we first try to remedy this with reasonable requests—or hints—and a kind tone. But when that fails, we feel disempowered, which leads to sighs, eye rolls, silences, subtle put-downs, insults, and even threats. These are power moves. And while we often use them without realizing it and without intention, the result is the same—our partner feels disempowered and will try to re-empower themselves. And so the endless, and endlessly destructive, dynamic takes hold. Relationship expert Mira Kirshenbaum, bestselling author of Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay, reveals a better way: a three-step method for conflict-free problem solving. By recognizing each partner’s power moves, we can instead find mutually satisfying ways to heal our hurts and meet each other’s needs. Non-judgmental, compassionate, and wise, this is an indispensable guide to help couples end the negative cycle and get back to the loving understanding that brought them together in the first place. “Mira Kirshenbaum’s words of wisdom are an inspiration to everyone who reads them.” —Deepak Chopra

Have you ever walked away from an argument and suddenly thought of all the brilliant things you wish you'd said? Do you avoid certain family members and colleagues because of bitter, festering tension that you can't figure out how to address? Now, finally, there's a solution: a new framework that frees you from the trap of unproductive conflict and pointless arguing forever. If the threat of raised voices, emotional outbursts, and public discord makes you want to hide under the conference room table, you're not alone. Conflict, or the fear of it, can be exhausting. But as this powerful book argues, conflict doesn't have to be unpleasant. In fact, properly channeled, conflict can be the most valuable tool we have at our disposal for deepening relationships, solving problems, and coming up with new ideas. As the mastermind behind some of the highest-performing teams at Amazon, Twitter, and Slack, Buster Benson spent decades facilitating hard conversations in stressful environments. In this book, Buster reveals the psychological underpinnings of awkward, unproductive conflict and the critical habits anyone can learn to avoid it. Armed with a deeper understanding of how arguments, you'll be able to: Remain confident when you're put on the spot Diffuse tense moments with a few strategic questions Facilitate creative solutions even when your team has radically different perspectives Why Are We Yelling will shatter your assumptions about what makes arguments productive. You'll find yourself having fewer repetitive, predictable fights once you're empowered to identify your biases, listen with an open mind, and communicate well.

For parents fed up with constant challenges to their authority--but who dread becoming tyrants in their own homes--trusted family therapist and author Nichols provides a powerful new alternative to "because I said so."