This is a self-help book aimed at teaching people how to forgive and reconcile, founded on scientific research and clinical psychology, rather than on uncontrolled clinical practice, personal testimony, or theology. The author, a clinical psychologist and psychology professor, has spent years researching forgiveness and reconciliation, including how people respond physiologically to transgression, and how they calm down when they forgive. He has distilled his research on forgiveness into a five-step model called the Pyramid Model to REACH Forgiveness, the details of which make up the first part of the book; his four-step Bridge to Reconciliation makes up the second part. Steps to REACH Forgiveness and to Reconcile is framed very personally. It not only describes how forgiveness occurs in clinical practice and normal human relationships, it also describes the author's personal story in forgiving the murder of his mother. It deals with self-forgiveness as well. Steps to REACH Forgiveness and to Reconcile can serve as a supplemental reading in courses like Positive Psychology, Personal Adjustment, Stress and Stress Management, or even Psychology 101. It would also be appropriate for courses in Social Relationships, Marriage and Family, Peace Studies, and any discipline dealing with communication and human relationships. As the author's own story attests, people can learn to forgive and reconcile. Steps to REACH Forgiveness and to Reconcile presents an evidence-based intervention to help people do so more quickly and easily, if they are committed to trying.

A Templeton Foundation Book of Distinction All of us have suffered painful emotional and relational hurts. God calls us to forgive those who have hurt us, but that's often easier said than done. We don't usually know how to forgive others, nor are we always sure if we have truly forgiven them. Psychologist and counselor Everett L. Worthington Jr., the leading Christian researcher on forgiveness, says that forgiving is a gift we give to others. When we offer forgiveness to others as an altruistic gift, it is more effective than when we forgive only for our own benefit in an effort to "get over" the hurt. True forgiveness is accomplished through a careful process of understanding both the offense and the offender and taking active steps to forgiveness. In this insightful and practical book, Worthington provides a wealth of clinically proven tools and exercises for moving toward forgiveness. Worthington's expertise comes not only from years of scientific research but also from the experience of the brutal murder of his own mother. His convictions were put to the test as he worked through his conflicting emotions and rage toward the murderer. He found that the principles of Christian forgiveness enabled him to forgive even his mother's killer. While forgiveness is something that we can do on our own, reconciliation involves another party. Worthington brings both themes together and shows how we can move beyond forgiveness and cross the bridge to reconciliation. This book, previously published as Five Steps to Forgiveness, has been fully revised to make clear the scriptural foundations of Christian forgiveness. Biblical, authoritative and pastorally sound, this guide will be of help to anyone who wants to find the freedom of forgiveness.

The Templeton Foundation, whose board members include Desmond Tutu, Jimmy Carter, Robert Coles, and others, has already funded more than $5 million and supported 58 studies to show that it's possible to teach people to forgive faster, more thoroughly, and with longer-lasting results. The core of Everett Worthington's own research is his revolutionary five-step Reach program for forgiveness: R = Recall the hurt (define your feelings and expectations)E = Empathize with the one who hurt you (put yourself in the victimizer's shoes)A = Give the Altruistic gift of forgiveness (commit to a selfless act)C = Commit to forgive (make your act a public one)H = Hold onto forgiveness (learn how not to slide back into thoughts of revenge and retaliation)The author lays out the research results that demonstrate that people who forgive are healthier and happier. It offers a new definition of forgiveness: it's not an act of will, but rather a change in understanding.This revolutionary book provides readers with a new road out of the pain of victimization.

Everett L. Worthington, Jr. offers a comprehensive manual for assisting couples over common rough spots and through serious problems in a manner that is compassionate, effective and brief. His hope-focused (rather than problem-focused) approach enables couples to see that change is possible and gives them a new outlook on the future. Combining this with a brief approach that addresses the realities of managed care and tight budgets, Worthington shows how to be strategic in each counseling situation by including teaching, training, exercises, forgiveness, modeling and motivation. At the heart of the book are dozens of interventions and exercises, including drawing on central values promoting confession and forgiveness strengthening communication aiding conflict resolution changing patterns of thinking developing intimacy cementing commitment Backed by years of experience and substantial research, hope-focused marriage counseling offers hope to counselors that they can provide help to troubled couples quickly, compassionately and effectively. This paperback edition includes a new introduction, summarizing the latest findings and developments in marital counseling and applying hope-focused marriage counseling to today's cultural and clinical realities.

The church and science have drifted apart over the past century. Today the church is often deemed irrelevant by those who trust science, and science is often deemed irrelevant by those whose primary loyalties are to the church. However, this book shows that the new science of virtue--the field of positive psychology--can serve as a bridge point between science and the church and can help renew meaningful conversation. In essence, positive psychology examines how ordinary people can become happier and more fulfilled. Mark McMinn clarifies how positive psychology can complement Christian faith and promote happiness and personal flourishing. In addition, he shows how the church can help strengthen positive psychology. McMinn brings the church's experience and wisdom on six virtues--humility, forgiveness, gratitude, grace, hope, and wisdom--into conversation with intriguing scientific findings from positive psychology. Each chapter includes a section addressing Christian counselors who seek to promote happiness and fulfillment in others.

This illustrated book describes how to forgive in a healthy way by moving through the five stages of forgiveness. This is a forgiveness that renounces vengeance and retaliation, but does not passively acquiesce to abuse in any form.

To be unforgiving is harmful. The inability to come to terms with one’s anger or strife often can lead to stress disorders, mental health disorders, and relationship problems. Forgiveness is a personal decision. Forgiveness and Reconciliation focuses on individual experiences with forgiveness, aiming to create a theory of what forgiveness is and connect it to a clinical theory of how to promote forgiveness. Dr. Worthington creates an evidence-based approach that is applicable for individuals and relationships, and even for society. He also describes an evidence-based method of reconciliation - restoring trust in damaged relationships. Dr. Worthington hopes that this theory will inform scientific research and improve intervention strategies. Showing that forgiveness transforms personality, Worthington describes ways a clinician can promote (but not force) forgiveness of others and self. He provides research-based theory and applications and discusses the role of emotion and specific personality traits as related to forgiveness. Forgiveness and reconciliation might not be cures, but, as Worthington shows, they are tools for transforming both the self and the world.