Hot dogs, pimps, elephants and crime. These things have absolutely nothing to do with this epic twisted tale, but you have to admit they're pretty attention grabbing, right?!? Bored of reading the same old hum-drum books about superheroes, lawn furniture and how to grow the best cheese log? My Uncle Jack's Off is a one-of-a-kind tale with a ham-fisted, adult-focused tone that will have you laughing out loud with every turn of the page until your belly aches. The best part? You'll know your stomach hurts from laughter and not tapeworms! Here are just a few of the thought-provoking things world-renown book critics have had to say about My Uncle Jack's Off "I used my left hand to turn the pages instead of my right and it was like sharing an unforgettable experience with a stranger." - Rosie Palmer "I've heard some tall tales, but Uncle Jack has a story so big you may not be able to take it all at once." - D.T. Sanchez "My favorite part was the check I received for this endorsement" - Handsomely compensated reader who wishes to remain anonymous "Finally, a story that the common unicyclist can relate to" - Gary the Unicyclist "[Shakes book...] How do I get the sound out?" - Reginald, the guy down the block who confuses audio with print "I find this book VERY hard to put down!" - Prank victim who got his hand superglued to the book "It's the perfect length. What they say is true... size matters." - A guy obsessed with tape measurers. Why, what'd you think? This book gives you all the raucous fun you can handle without being committed for excessive laughter. Perfect for late-night bedtime stories, bar mitzvahs, propping up a coffee table leg, surprise parties for the elderly, as a replacement for a toaster manual, or even light bathroom reading, it's time you saw Uncle Jack's Off for yourself. Pick up a copy of My Uncle Jack's Off by clicking "Add to Cart" above. You'll love the side-splitting story, hidden pictures, and one man's epic climax to fun.

"...and of course the whimsical poetic meter known as iambic tetrameter is no more capable of exclusive ownership than the air we all breath."--Bimisi to Theodor Seuss GeislIt is entirely possible to wake up in the morning with no intention of learning anything at all, but learning something substantial, nonetheless. It was a typical Wednesday afternoon at their favorite dive bar. Bimisi and Sumguyen were sparring, via a spirited match of online trivia, with patrons of a similar dive bar in another part of the world...a part of the world where it most likely was not still Wednesday afternoon. The final question...at least the last question they heard before scrambling for a pen and paper to get to work on their first parody was this:Madonna, Michael Jackson and _____ are the only 3 artists who have had a top 40 hit in 4 different decades.ANSWER: Weird Al Yankovic

LONG THE FUNNIEST, and savviest, commentator on North Carolina's beloved Outer Banks, "Uncle Jack" Sandberg is back with the ultimate collection of hilarious-and on-the-mark-observations, supplemented by the work of great cartoonists. Sandberg dispenses stories, advice, criticism, annoyance, warnings, insight, and always laughs, about this narrow strand of islands that has become one of America's premier vacationlands. From Corolla to Hatteras Island, with stops at Manteo, his beloved South Nags Head, and all spots in-between, Uncle Jack does indeed own the Outer BanksUNCLE JACK'S OUTER BANKS: The Ultimate Collection is the perfect gift or memento for anyone who loves the Outer Banks or just likes to laugh. It is, as Uncle Jack says, "a pretty funny book."

Much to the chagrin of his girlfriend, Gia, Repairman Jack doesn't deal with electronic appliances—he fixes situations for people, situations that usually involve putting himself in deadly danger. His latest project is recovering a stolen necklace, which carries with it an ancient curse that may unleash a horde of Bengali demons. Jack is used to danger, but this time Gia's daughter Vicky is threatened. Can Jack overcome the curse of the yellow necklace and bring Vicky safely back home? At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Additional edition statement from dust jacket.