The absence of a child or loss of a pregnancy is a void and, frequently, a profound loss experienced as a failure, a lack, a shame, something that needs to be fixed or hidden, even when it is a choice. For the most part, there is no frame, no structure, no rituals, no celebration, no acknowledgment, often even no words. It has no name, no category. The pain, loneliness and awkwardness can be unimaginable until it happens to you.What if "not children" isn't really that unusual? What if the vast majority of women have had, are having, or will have some experience of what we call missed motherhood in their lifetime, whether or not they ever have children?Based on available statistics, it appears that is the case-that as many as 75% of women in America have had or will have one or more experiences of missed motherhood at some time in their lives through miscarriage, adoption, abortion, infertility or the choice to be childfree. This is a stunning percentage! If this is true, the experience of missed motherhood appears to be as common an experience as being a mother. As a society, we need to name and include missed motherhood as part of the cultural norm, to bring it out into the open and offer effective steps for grieving and healing that go beyond what each woman can accomplish on her own. When we do this, each of us can move forward in life with passion and enthusiasm.

Millions of women in go through life hiding or denying feelings resulting from the loss of a pregnancy through miscarriage or abortion or the inability to conceive, or giving a child up for adoption or choosing not to have children. While these women may be considered to be outside the norm, this book reveals the radically different perspective that the majority of women have at least one experience of missed motherhood. Rather than being able to explore and express their feelings and receive the support they need to integrate the loss and create joyful lives, these women often suffer in silence, and so does the entire society. The authors use their own experiences of loss, choice and healing along with stories of twelve other women as a starting point for a much larger story. Their healing journeys are followed by specific steps that can be taken to create a culture of understanding and support so countless women can move out of the closet, grieve their losses, experience their wholeness and move into joy.

Mother Wit By: Malaika B. Horne, PhD “This book describes in a vivid and poignant manner the remarkable ability of a mid-twentieth century Black woman—living under conditions of Apartheid as practiced in the United States—to overcome harsh and even grotesque societal obstacles, and succeed in rearing six children. That each of them went on to excel in their chosen fields is worthy of serious contemplation. In addition, the reader is provided insight and illumination on still taboo topics such as “colorism” and intra-group violence that engender and nourish self-hate among many in the African American Community. Moreover, the author’s penchant for candor is coupled with a constructive theme of hope and faith in the future.” ~~William M Harvey, PhD, psychologist “This is not just an evocative, at times heart-rending, portrait of an African-American mother but, as well, a colorful depiction of a Mississippi cum St. Louis family grappling with Jim Crow. In well written prose worthy of a cinema production, this book is an instant classic meriting a place on the top shelf alongside Toni Morrison, Alice Walker and Richard Wright.” ~~Gerald Charles Horne, PhD, University of Houston “A moving tribute to a devoted mother whose determination, dedication and strong character allowed her family to breach barriers of race, class and economic want to achieve measurable success. Dr. Horne’s story of a loving mother with a keen intelligence who sacrificed all for her children is touching, inspiring and above all, instructive.” ~~Gwen Moore, curator, Missouri History Museum “Mother Wit is a love letter, first to Horne’s visionary mother Flora and then to the story of imperfect people making their way, together, in an even more horribly imperfect world. This is a story of color, of cruelty, of family and of coming to understand. Horne has written the kind of family history that tells the reader much more than the surface of the story. The lives of her characters, family members across several generations, are built upon the context of racism and all the byproducts thereof. Reading their stories and seeing the strength of Flora and the children she raised, is testament to tenacity and hope.” ~~Faith Sandler, executive director, Scholarship Foundation of St. Louis “Blessed is the mother who inspires her children to have aspirations and shows them the necessary steps to take to make those aspirations a reality. Malaika B. Horne writes, with a captivating style about such a mother, detailing the complex journey to attain seemingly simple goals, with clarity and forthrightness.” ~~Blanche M. Touhill, PhD, chancellor emerita, University of Missouri-St. Louis

Though one in four pregnancies ends in loss, miscarriage is shrouded in such secrecy and stigma that the woman who experiences it often feels deeply isolated, unsure how to process her grief. Her body seems to have betrayed her. Her confidence in the goodness of God is rattled. Her loved ones don't know what to say. Her heart is broken. She may feel guilty, ashamed, angry, depressed, confused, or alone. With vulnerability and tenderness, Adriel Booker shares her own experience of three consecutive miscarriages, as well as the stories of others. She tackles complex questions about faith and suffering with sensitivity and clarity, inviting women to a place of grace, honesty, and hope in the redemptive purposes of God without offering religious clichés and pat answers. She also shares specific, practical resources, such as ways to help guide children through grief, suggestions for memorializing your baby, and advice on pregnancy after loss, as well as a special section for dads and loved ones.

Discover how understanding God’s purpose and design can empower you to be the mother you long to be. No calling is greater, nobler, or more fulfilling than that motherhood. Every day, as we nurture our children, mothers influence eternal destiny as no one else can. Tragically, today’s culture minimizes the vital importance of a mother’s role. In The Mission of Motherhood, Sally Clarkson helps you rediscover the joy and fulfillment to be found in the strategic role to which God in all his wisdom has called you, for a purpose far greater than you can ever imagine.

A lawyer with a well-stamped passport and a passion for human rights, Lisa-Jo Baker never wanted to be a mom. And then she had kids. Having lost her own mother to cancer as a teenager, Lisa-Jo felt lost on her journey to womanhood and wholly unprepared to raise children. Surprised by Motherhood is Lisa-Jos story of becoming and being a mom, and in the process, discovering that all the what to expect and how to books in the world can never truly prepare you for the sheer exhilaration, joy, and terrifying love that accompanies motherhood. Set partly in South Africa and partly in the US (with a slight detour to Ukraine along the way), Surprised by Motherhood is a poignant memoir of one womans dawning realization that being a mom isnt about being perfectits about being present.