Based on a landmark longitudinal study, the nation's leading expert on stepfamilies reveals his breakthrough findings and offers the first detailed guide to easing the conflicts of stepfamily life and healing the scars of divorce. There are more than twenty million stepfamilies in America. For most of them, the simple, daily issues that challenge every family are even more anxiety-provoking. After conducting a comprehensive nine-year-long study funded by the National Institutes of Health, Dr. James H. Bray has written an invaluable book that explains why over half of all stepfamilies fail and reveals the strategies that help the others succeed. A stepfamily is assaulted on all sides by difficult and often divisive questions. How much control should a stepparent have over a stepchild? How much authority should a nonresidential parent exert over a child? How should a difficult former spouse be handled? How does an "ours" baby change the emotional dynamic in a stepfamily? Why is there a lack of "honeymoon effect" during the first years of stepfamily life? The purpose of Stepfamilies is to answer all the important questions of stepfamily life--to fill in the knowledge gaps that undermine so many stepfamilies today and, crucially, to learn the effect of stepfamily life on children. Based on one of the largest and longest studies of stepfamily life ever conducted, Stepfamilies interweaves the stories of real families to illustrate such study findings as how: a stepfamily has its own natural life cycle a stepfamily takes several years to develop into a family unit a stepfamily is at greatest risk during the first two years a stepfamily ultimately coalesces into one of three forms a stepfamily must solve four basic tasks in order to succeed a stepfamily can help heal the scars of divorce Filled with emotional, gripping stories, Bray's findings pinpoint the three major transitions in stepfamily life and identify the riskiest issues that can throw a family into crisis. Bray is the first to identify the several distinct forms that stepfamilies take and to explore which types of stepfamilies are more vulnerable than others and why. He also describes the natural life cycle of stepfamilies and basic tasks all stepfamilies must undertake to succeed. With a wealth of insight into the positive effects of remarriage, Bray shows how a loving, well-functioning stepfamily can lessen the trauma of divorce and restore a child's and family's sense of security. Most stepparents remarry with the highest hopes and new resolutions for a better life. Never before have their unique needs been addressed in depth. Through insightful case studies and practical advice, Stepfamilies reveals how a strong, stable stepfamily is as capable as a nuclear family of nurturing healthy development, of imbuing values, of setting limits and boundaries, and of providing a structure in which rules for living a moral and productive life are transmitted, tested, rebelled against, and ultimately affirmed. Bray's positive message and fascinating findings--many of which defy intuition--will put stepfamilies on the road to lifelong harmony.

How do you blend two separate families into one household? Family traditions, values, interests, and parenting styles are often so far apart that simple questions like, "Who takes out the trash?" or "Where shall we go for Christmas?" can quickly become flashpoints of conflict. Winston T. Smith provides a road map to the unique challenges ...

Love may be sweeter the second time around, but once the bliss of a newfound relationship wears off a little, the reality of being part of a stepfamily sets in. If you are one of the millions of remarried Americans facing the challenge of blending two existing families into one cohesive whole, you are part of a stepcouple—and you know all too well how hard it can be to make your marriage work in sometimes tough terrain. Different parenting styles, finances, relationships with ex-spouses, legal matters, and even seemingly simple issues such as the kinds of chores assigned to children can chisel away at your union if you don’t always make your marriage a priority. Stepcoupling offers advice for stepcouples on how to do just that—all the while strengthening their blended family with a healthy marriage. Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green provide tips and strategies on dealing with the issues remarried couples face, with a wealth of advice from real-life stepcouples, such as: * Learning to tailor your expectations of your spouse or children and remembering that no family is perfect * Knowing where your boundaries are, whether involving a hostile ex-spouse or a stepchild who demands too much attention * Realizing that traits like flexibility, tolerance, forgiveness, and openness are especially essential in a stepfamily situation * Making “us” time for talking, problem-solving, weekends away, and enjoying your marriage to constantly renew and strengthen your bond as a couple Let this invaluable remarriage manual help you make your stepcouple the foundation of a strong, happy, and successful stepfamily.

How do you blend two separate families into one household? Family traditions, values, interests, and parenting styles are often so far apart that simple questions like, "Who takes out the trash?" or "Where shall we go for Christmas?" can quickly become flashpoints of conflict. Winston T. Smith provides a road map to the unique challenges ...

View the inner workings of healthy stepfamilies through the stories of twenty families as they discuss how their households operate. This enlightening book takes a deeper look at what adults and children in stepfamilies say about such issues as discipline, money, family roles and relationships with ex-spouses, and the development of new traditions and rituals. Incorporating actual words of family members, Developing Healthy Stepfamilies shows many ways in which stepfamilies function well through adapting new and different “rules” to fit their circumstances. The book concentrates on positive rather than negative aspects of stepfamily life to help dim the image of stepfamilies as problematic and also to instill hope in would-be stepfamilies by normalizing their differences from biologically based families. Written with the intention of disseminating information and increasing understanding about stepfamily functioning, this book is useful for stepfamilies, their friends and relatives, and professionals such as teachers, clergy, physicians, and counselors. Developing Healthy Stepfamilies draws a colorful picture of the creativity and flexibility such families have brought to their lives and relationships. Emphasizing what works in stepfamilies instead of what does not, the book illustrates the process of integrating a stepfamily, the value of humor and patience, and the richness that can unfold for all members of the family. The author, a family therapist and educator, has drawn together information direct from stepfamily members themselves, providing readers with first-hand knowledge of the daily workings of this fast growing family form. A showcase of stepfamilies that are functioning well, Developing Healthy Stepfamilies helps show would-be stepfamilies that “it can be done.” This is not a book of instructions; it illuminates the many ways in which stepfamilies can and do function. Some of the topics covered in the book include: definitions of a stepfamily a historical review demographics suggestions for new stepfamilies from established ones genograms of the families participating in the study As a group, stepfamilies are different from biologically based families in form and function. These differences are important for the families, and for those working with them, to recognize and accept as normal. Although intended to be an informative text for professionals and students in fields such as counseling and social work, this book also serves as a source of hope and encouragement for stepfamilies and prospective stepfamilies themselves.

Blended Family Advice is step-by-step guide to help blended and stepfamilies navigate the rough areas in their marriage and family. The book focuses on three main areas: marriage, kids, and the outside world. Learn how to communicate with your ex-spouse successfully, create a sense of unity in your newly blended family, how to treat stepparents and stepsiblings, and how to create house rules and expectations in your new blended household. Shirley Cress Dudley uses her skills as a licensed professional counselor, and as a stepmom to help blended and step families learn how to become strong and successful. Blended Family Advice contains the keys to a successful blended family along with several bonus reports: a financial planner, creating successful blended family holidays, house hunting for the blended family, and a guide for grandparents. Blended families and stepfamilies will find this book to be a comprehensive resource and one that every stepfamily and blended family will need in their home. Visit The Blended and Step Family Resource Center http://www.TheBlendedandStepFamilyResourceCenter.com and http://www.BlendedFamilyAdvice.com for more information. Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC [email protected]

Despite the growing number of stepfamilies, and the recognition that they experience unique difficulties related to their complex family dynamics, there is very little support available to them. In this practical, evidence-based guide Lisa Doodson offers a valuable resource for professionals working with stepfamilies, giving insight into their unique nature and guidance on how to provide more effective support and advice. In addition to the wealth of research and knowledge that the book shares, there are a range of case studies which illustrate issues that the different types of stepfamilies frequently face. Each chapter also contains practical tools and exercises that professionals can use with their clients to help facilitate change in the family unit, as well as interventions including mediation and group workshops, and more traditional counselling techniques. Understanding Stepfamilies is a must have resource for counsellors and therapists, social workers, local authorities, charities and teaching professionals working with stepfamilies.