Christians don’t check their dysfunctional habits at the church door. Coiffed and buttoned-down on the outside, inside we still bring our compulsions and addictions, our urges to criticize, compare, and deny. Try as we might to cover up, we often behave in church just like we do at home. It’s time to stop pretending. No church is perfect, just as no family is perfect. This book calls us to accept the church’s humanness – the fact that we tend to make messes of our lives – as it explores eight common dysfunctions. But it also calls us to reaffirm that each local congregation in the body of Christ ought to be a place where we can come and feel loved, helped, forgiven – and given hope to go out and do better next time. After all, God created the church to be the best family in the whole world. Small group discussion questions and helpful excerpts from other books are included with each chapter.

No church is perfect, just as no family is perfect. This profound and honest book calls us to accept the church's humanness as it explores common dysfunctions. But it also calls upon us to view each local congregation as a place where we can feel loved, helped, and forgiven.

In many ways, dysfunctional families are becoming the "new norm" in our society, affecting families in and outside the church. In this ebook, June Hunt explains the signs, characteristics, and impact dysfunctional families have on children's attitudes and behavior—revealing the ugly truth that dysfunction often produces more dysfunction. She presents practical ways to break the generational cycle of dysfunction—giving those who come from this background hope and equipping those who minister to them (pastor, church leader, or friend) with practical insight on how to help. Coming from a dysfunctional family can often make a person feel helpless—doomed to repeat the same mistakes and behaviors as their parents. June emphasizes that change is possible. Using the familiar Bible story of Joseph and his brothers, June reveals how God can use one family member yielded to Him to change the dynamics of an entire family. She also tells the remarkable true story of Catherine Brown Deeken, a woman who grew up in a shattered home with 2 alcoholics, but who now (through the grace of God) runs Rainbow Days, a ministry which supports over 65,000 children who are living in high-risk situations. Compassionate in its approach, rich with scripture, and easy-to-understand, this ebook explains how to reverse the impact of unhealthy family relationships • Includes a quick overview and key definitions. Answers— What is a dysfunctional family? What is a "functional" family? What are the dysfunctional family roles? How does being raised in a dysfunctional family affect future relationships? • Reveals signs, symptoms, and common characteristics of a dysfunctional family. Explains the 8 dominant traits characterized by dysfunctional families, including chaos, control, denial, inconsistency, emotional indifference, instability, shame, and unpredictability. • Explains how unresolved conflicts in the past often cause children to repeat the dysfunctional behavior of their parents. Includes a checklist to see if you—or someone you know—is showing signs of unresolved conflict. • Provides dozens of step-by-steps suggestions and practical ways to replace "old mindsets and behaviors" from unhealthy family relationships with God's truth. What Is a Dysfunctional Family? • A dysfunctional family is one where improper and immature behavior of at least one parent damages the growth of individuality and healthy relational skills among family members. • A dysfunctional family is one where family members are negatively affected emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. • A dysfunctional family is one where everyone is negatively affected even when only one family member experiences a problem. Dysfunctional Families Produce Dysfunctional Families Dysfunction looks different in each family. Here are some of the ways dysfunction can creep into the family unit: • Overly possessive or faultfinding parents • Poor organization or overly rigid structure • Inconsistent and indecisive parents • Emotionally abandoned children (including emotional abuse) • Overly rigid structure or lacking parental authority How Do Kids Cope? 4 Dysfunctional Family Roles Children Adopt When parents are unable to manage their lives, children learn to cope by playing specific roles in the family or "acting out" in damaging ways. Typically, the child will adopt one of four roles: • The Responsible Child The "hero" tries to fix the family problems and help create a positive family image through noteworthy achievement. This child receives positive attention but often develops perfectionistic, compulsive behaviors. • The Rebellious Child The "scapegoat" draws focus away from the family's problems and onto himself or herself with rebellious, uncontrollable behavior. This child consumes time and energy from the family members and often develops self-destructive life patterns. • The Reclusive Child The "lost child" hopes that by ignoring family problems, the difficulties will go away. This child avoids attention and is often lonely and withdrawn. • The Reveling Child The "clown" uses humor and antics to direct the focus away from family problems. This child is often highly active or hyperactive and usually seeks to be the center of attention. A child may even display a combination of these traits or progress through different stages as they attempt to manage their emotional pain...just seeking to survive. To find out more about the coping devices children us, check out June Hunt's Dysfunctional Family. How can I accept and let go of my dysfunctional past? Life is a series of choices! Here's just a few choices you (and those you are helping) can make to begin breaking free from the influence of your past. I will... • Give Christ first place in my heart. Ask Jesus to be Lord of my life. Accept His forgiveness and love. Be aware of His constant presence within me. Allow Him to lead in all I say and do. • Give thought to my present dysfunctional characteristics. Pray for God to reveal my weaknesses. Pray for wisdom to understand how to change. Pray that I will draw on Christ, who is my strength, to make changes. Pray for wise and discerning friends to enlighten and encourage me. • Give myself boundaries. Define who I am: "I am a child of God," and who I am not: "I am not a piece of property." Refuse to be manipulated or mistreated and learn to say, "No." Stop playing the victim: "As an adult, I am not powerless." • Give up resentment Consider the consequences of unforgiveness. Confess my own areas of unforgiveness. Contemplate the sins for which I have received forgiveness. Choose to forgive and keep on choosing to forgive. "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." (1 Corinthians 13:11) The dynamics of dysfunction are detrimental to the family. Discover how to cultivate your family now for the generations that follow as you establish and apply the principles of biblical truth in your own family. Look for all 36 titles in the Hope For The Heart Biblical Counseling Library. These mini-books are for people who seek freedom from codependency, anger, conflict, verbal and emotional abuse, depression, or other problems.

The Hilltop United Methodist Church of Columbus, Ohio, directly inspired this project because of the signifcant loss of elderly membership. The elderly were dying at an alarming rate. It became necessary to aid the church with grief counseling. Many members of the church were still grieving over lost loved ones and needed healing to move on with their lives, church life and private life. The author and context associates agreed on the design and implementation of the model to be used for grief healing. The methodology to be used was a tool for pastoral counseling and focused on grief issues. The design and implementation included seven sermons, five lectures, and three interviews. Pre and post questionnaires were distributed before and after each sermon. After each lecture, time was allotted for questions and answers. Both questionnaires were used to measure responses of the listeners. A final evaluation was made to determine overall effectiveness.

Relationships are what life is made of; we form them by what we do, how we do it, and what we represent. When God first made humanity, He formed relationships and created a good atmosphere for Adam and Eve to assist one another, but unfortunately, because of human sin, this became difficult. Relationships come in many different forms; however, this book focuses on promoting healthy couple relationships. When it comes to relationships, everyone has different perceptions, and they also react differently when facing challenges. Differences in lifestyle and exposeure and even Christian homes can create relationship issues. Healthy relationships are fostered by properly addressing problems and conflicts in the proper manner. God’s principle is that people should respond to their differences in a Biblical way and use their disagreements to promote growth and development. The primary factor is for the couple to cohabitate in love.

Revised and updated from the original, this honest and forthwright look at families of all shapes and sizes will help you down the path of healing (whether you know you need it or whether yo're just not sure). Unlocking Your Family Patterns combines decade's worth of counseling wisdom and pastoral care insights into this one practical resource. Your past may hurt, and your family's patterns may have left emotional scars, but your future has not been laid in stone yet. There is hope for healing, there are lessons to learn, and there are paths toward family health. Using clinical, biblical and practical examples to help you uncover the patterns your family has lived in, this book might lead you toward the family u-turn you've been looking for.