A Templeton Foundation Book of Distinction All of us have suffered painful emotional and relational hurts. God calls us to forgive those who have hurt us, but that's often easier said than done. We don't usually know how to forgive others, nor are we always sure if we have truly forgiven them. Psychologist and counselor Everett L. Worthington Jr., the leading Christian researcher on forgiveness, says that forgiving is a gift we give to others. When we offer forgiveness to others as an altruistic gift, it is more effective than when we forgive only for our own benefit in an effort to "get over" the hurt. True forgiveness is accomplished through a careful process of understanding both the offense and the offender and taking active steps to forgiveness. In this insightful and practical book, Worthington provides a wealth of clinically proven tools and exercises for moving toward forgiveness. Worthington's expertise comes not only from years of scientific research but also from the experience of the brutal murder of his own mother. His convictions were put to the test as he worked through his conflicting emotions and rage toward the murderer. He found that the principles of Christian forgiveness enabled him to forgive even his mother's killer. While forgiveness is something that we can do on our own, reconciliation involves another party. Worthington brings both themes together and shows how we can move beyond forgiveness and cross the bridge to reconciliation. This book, previously published as Five Steps to Forgiveness, has been fully revised to make clear the scriptural foundations of Christian forgiveness. Biblical, authoritative and pastorally sound, this guide will be of help to anyone who wants to find the freedom of forgiveness.

To be unforgiving is harmful. The inability to come to terms with one’s anger or strife often can lead to stress disorders, mental health disorders, and relationship problems. Forgiveness is a personal decision. Forgiveness and Reconciliation focuses on individual experiences with forgiveness, aiming to create a theory of what forgiveness is and connect it to a clinical theory of how to promote forgiveness. Dr. Worthington creates an evidence-based approach that is applicable for individuals and relationships, and even for society. He also describes an evidence-based method of reconciliation - restoring trust in damaged relationships. Dr. Worthington hopes that this theory will inform scientific research and improve intervention strategies. Showing that forgiveness transforms personality, Worthington describes ways a clinician can promote (but not force) forgiveness of others and self. He provides research-based theory and applications and discusses the role of emotion and specific personality traits as related to forgiveness. Forgiveness and reconciliation might not be cures, but, as Worthington shows, they are tools for transforming both the self and the world.

We all long for peace within ourselves, families, communities, countries, and throughout the world. We wonder what we can do about the multitude of con?icts currently wreaking havoc across the globe and the continuous reports of violence in communities as well as within families. Most of the time, we contemplate solutions beyond our reach, and overlook a powerful tool that is at our disposal: forgiveness. As a genocide survivor, I know something about it. As the genocide unfolded in Rwanda in 1994, I was devastated by what I believed to be the inevitable deaths of my loved ones. The news that my parents and my seven siblings had indeed been killed was simply unbearable. Anger and bitterness became my daily companions. Likewise, I continued to wonder how the Hutus and Tutsis in Rwanda could possibly reconcile after one of the most horrendous genocides of the 20th century. It was not until I came to understand the notion of forgiveness that I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Common wisdom suggests that forgiveness comes after a perpetrator makes a genuine apology. This wisdom informs us that in the aftermath of a wrongdoing, the offender must acknowledge the wrong he or she has done, express remorse, express an apology, commit to never repeating said harm, and make reparations to theextentpossible.Onlythencanthevictimforgiveandagreetoneverseekrevenge.

This book brings together a unique combination of experts in conflict resolution and focuses on the role forgiveness can play in the process. It deals with theology, public policy, psychological and social theory, and social policy implementation of forgiveness. This book is essential for libraries, scholars, conflict negotiators, and all people who hope to understand the role of forgiveness in the peace process. The book's first section explores how ideas like "forgiveness" and "reconciliation" are moving out from the seminary and academy into the world of public policy and how these terms have been used and defined in the past. The second section looks at forgiveness and public policy. One of the chapters, by Donald W. Shriver Jr., addresses forgiveness in a secular political forum. The third section of the book draws us to a more thorough analysis of the relationship between forgiveness and reconciliation from voices in the academic and theological community, and the final section highlights the work of practitioners currently working with religion, public policy, and conflict transformation, particularly in areas such as Ireland and Africa. Contributors include Desmond M. Tutu, Rodney L. Petersen, Miroslav Volf, Stanley S. Harakas, Raymond G. Helmick, SJ, Joseph V. Montville, Douglas M. Johnston, Donna Hicks, Donald W. Shriver, Jr., Everett L. Worthington, Jr., John Paul Lederach, Ervin Staub, Laurie Anne Pearlman, John Dawson, Audrey R. Chapman, Olga Botcharova, Anthony da Silva, SJ, Geraldine Smythe, OP, Andrea Bartoli, Ofelia Ortega, and George F. R. Ellis.

Finally! A male survivor speaks out about male childhood sexual abuse and offers survivors real strategies to find a life of purpose and happiness after trauma. In his groundbreaking book, survivor Randy Boyd talks candidly about what it really takes for men to heal from the wounds of childhood sexual abuse. In the companion 7-Day Challenge Workbook, Randy breaks down the seven most transformational healing tools and gives you a step-by-step guide to put them to work in your life starting today. Each challenge is simple, easy, and takes between five and twenty minutes to complete. Anyone can do these challenges, and everyone who has completed them has experienced dramatic, positive transformation. There are no theories or philosophies in these pages, just the rock-solid information you need to get started with these transformational healing processes.

Inspired by the award-winning film of the same name. If you were told that a murderer was to be released into your neighborhood, how would you feel? But what if it weren't only one, but thousands? Could there be a common roadmap to reconciliation? Could there be a shared future after unthinkable evil? If forgiveness is possible after the slaughter of nearly a million in a hundred days in Rwanda, then today, more than ever, we owe it to humanity to explore how one country is addressing perceptual, social-psychological, and spiritual dimensions to achieve a more lasting peace. If forgiveness is possible after genocide, then perhaps there is hope for the comparably smaller rifts that plague our relationships, our communities, and our nation. Based on personal interviews and thorough research, As We Forgive returns to the boundary lines of genocide's wounds and traces the route of reconciliation in the lives of Rwandans--victims, widows, orphans, and perpetrators--whose past and future intersect. We find in these stories how suffering, memory, and identity set up roadblocks to forgiveness, while mediation, truth-telling, restitution, and interdependence create bridges to healing. As We Forgive explores the pain, the mystery, and the hope through seven compelling stories of those who have made this journey toward reconciliation. The result is a narrative that breathes with humanity and is as haunting as it is hopeful.

Although history is replete with tales of revenge, Christian forgiveness provides an alternate response. In this volume, Pentecostal scholars from various disciplines offer their vision for forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration. The essayists offer long-overdue Pentecostal perspectives through analysis of contemporary theological issues, personal testimony, and prophetic possibilities for restoration of individual relationships and communities. Though Pentecostals remain committed to Spirit-empowered witness as recorded in Luke-Acts, these scholars embrace a larger Lukan vision of Spirit-initiated inclusivity marked by reconciliation. The consistent refrain calls for forgiveness as an expression of God's love that does not demand justice but rather seeks to promote peace by bringing healing and reconciliation in relationships between people united by one Spirit.