There's No Such Thing As Over The Hill, Because The Hill Has Been Moved!In this humorous, practical book, Joan Rivers shows every woman how to be the best she can be and stay youthful, healthy, and mellow at any--and every--age. Filled with the latest information as well as entertaining anecdotes and stories, Don't Count the Candles provides down-to-earth, sensible advice on everything that every woman needs to be her best, from wardrobe and fitness to surgery and sex.Here is Joan Rivers's own unique take on aging: IQ does not decrease with age. If you were a moron at twenty, you will be a moron at seventy-five. At fifty, confine your piercing to sardine cans and keep your hair short. Eat all you want, just don't swallow it. A roll in the hay keeps the doctor away--unless he happens to be in the hay with you. Take it from Joan Rivers--you've got a lot of living left to do!

Examines extent of hunger and malnutrition problem in U.S.

Most of us have encountered frustrating incidents in our lifetimes. For humor columnist Wolfgang Niesielski, one of his most exasperating moments involves an expensive hotel room, a faulty thermostat, and a patronizing front desk clerkonly to be rescued by two gentlemen who, after conferring with each other in hushed tones, change their pleasant demeanor into the serious miens of surgeons before a heart transplant operation. In this compilation of his humor columns, Niesielski provides an amusing take on everyday experiences. See what its like to have an evil cyber presence monopolize your e-mail account, understand the overwhelming differences between first class and tourist class on an airplane, and find out why its important to choose the right gift for a loved oneeven if it is a Salad Shooter or an electric nail-file buffing system. From learning how unforgiving Mother Nature truly is when he forgets how to water the lawn to the moment when he discovers he is a procrastinator in the worst way, Niesielski illustrates what fun life can be when one learns to laugh at himself. The Alien in My E-Mail and Other Stories takes others on a delightful ride through one mans wacky lifeSalad Shooter and all.

What would middle school be like if you lived in a zoo? Just ask Ana Wright, star of the hilarious, award-nominated My Life is A Zoo series that combines first crushes, friendship fails...and pack dynamics. Surprise! Ana's long distance BFF is finally coming back to visit. But with her purple hair and new attitude, Liv is barely the girl Ana remembers. This new Liv probably thinks a birthday party at the zoo is lame. Maybe if Ana has a super-secret sleepover instead, she'd never have to introduce Liv to Ashley, former enemy and now Ana's best-ish friend. What could go wrong? Creature File for Liv: Species Name: Best Frendicus Kingdom: New Zealand Phylum: girl who used to be Ana Wright's best friend, girl who used to like getting milkshakes at Shaken, Not Stirred Feeds on: video chats with Leilani, attention from boys Life span: undetermined, but if things keep going the way they are, the lifespan of Ana and Liv, BFFs isn't going to be the "forever" they thought... Jess Keating combines the quirky humor and animal-centric plots of Carl Hiaasen with the awkward adolescent antics of Lauren Myracle in this fresh new middle grade series! Praise for How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied (My Life is a Zoo Book 1): 2015 Red Maple Award nominee 2015-2016 Georgia Children's Book Award nominee "Keating delivers a fun-filled, pitch-perfect book...about the perils of being 12 in a snake-eat-snake world." Kirkus STARRED Review "Life is literally a zoo for shy twelve-year-old Anna, who is trying to avoid seventh-grade bullies while hiding that her family lives among crocodiles and elephants." Los Angeles Times "A menagerie of laugh-out-loud antics." —Anna Staniszewski, author of The Dirt Diary "A wild romp, filled with humor and heart." ~ Lisa Schroeder, author of It's Raining Cupcakes