Shares a glimpse of the unspeakable pain, helplessness, frustration, and eventual healing that the author and his wife experienced since losing their son, offering comfort and connection to those walking similar paths. Original.

For a parent, losing a child is the most devastating event that can occur. Most books on the subject focus on grieving and recovery, but as most parents agree, there is no recovery from such a loss. This book examines the continued love parents feel for their child and the many poignant and ingenious ways they devise to preserve the bond. Through detailed profiles of parents, Ann Finkbeiner shows how new activities and changed relationships with their spouse, friends, and other children can all help parents preserve a bond with the lost child. Based on extensive interviews and grief research, Finkbeiner explains how parents have changed five to twenty-five years after the deaths of their children. The first half of the book discusses the short- and long-term effects of the child’s death on the parent’s relationships with the outside world, that is, with their spouses, other children, friends, and relatives. The second half of the book details the effect on the parents’ internal world: their continuing sense of guilt; their need to place the death in some larger context and their inability sometimes to consistently do so; their new set of priorities; the nature of their bond with the lost child and the subtle and creative ways they have of continuing that bond. Finkbeiner’s central point is not so much how parents grieve for their children, but how they love them. Refusing to fall back on pop jargon about “recovery” or to offer easy solutions or standardized timelines, Finkbeiner’s is a genuine and moving search to come to terms with loss. Her complex profiles of parents resonate with the honesty and authenticity of uncomfortable emotions expressed and, most importantly, shared with others experiencing a similar loss. Finally, each profile exemplifies the many heroic ways parents learn to live with their pain, and by so doing, honor the lives their children should have lived.

Whether a death is sudden or anticipated, losing a loved one shakes us to our very core, destroying our belief in a just, safe, and predictable world. Grief often changes us quickly both physically and mentally. It is like being kidnapped and suddenly transported to a foreign land without luggage, a passport, or the language to make sense of what's happening. Even if you have a road map for getting through the pain and anguish, you still have to take the trip. The purpose of this book is to help you find threads of hope that will assist your recovery and help you carry on. By sharing inspirational stories, personal experiences, and professional advice from contributors to theOpen to Hope website, we trust that you will be comforted and inspired by learning how others dealt with their losses, what they saw as roadblocks, and how they handled them as well as what it has taken for them to not only survive, but thrive. We want to help you resume leading the life that you were meant to live--a life of satisfaction and one driven by a belief in your own personal power for change.

The Death of a Child is a collection of a dozen essays in which parents and siblings tell their own stories of losing a child, brother or sister, and of how they have coped with bereavement and grief. Their experiences range from the earliest losses - actress and author Carol Drinkwater's miscarriages, Irish writer Catherine Dunne's still-birth and the death of Sarah Brown's daughter Jennifer at ten days old - right up to campaigner Augusto Odone losing his severely disabled son, Lorenzo, the day after his 30th birthday, or novelist Wendy Perriam coping with the death of her daughter, Pauline, when she was 43. The essays reflect the different causes of bereavement - illness (brief and long-term), accident, and malice. The collection ends with a reflection by the celebrated psychotherapist, Dorothy Rowe, on surviving the loss of a child, and a glossary of useful organisations.

After my son Joey passed away in June of 2000, I struggled to find any books that gave me concrete ideas of how I could help myself through my grieving process. Many family members and friends gifted me books, but they all told the same story. Have faith, cherish the wonderful memories and so on. Of course all good advice, just superficial. Then a few years after my son died, I happened to be at my hairdresser's, when a woman came in. I knew her through our sons' sports. I also knew that her oldest son had also passed away after Joey. It was getting close to Christmas, so I asked her if they were planning on putting up a tree. Her answer floored me! She had two other teenaged children at home. She shared with me that after her older son died, her surviving children wanted nothing to do with Christmas, no tree, no lights, nothing! So as my heart broke for her, I began telling her how I and my family celebrated our first Christmas after Joey died, and how that became a new tradition that continues through today. After listening to my story, this mom told me that I had helped her more in the last fifteen minutes, than anyone else had up to this point. That was my light bulb moment! And the spark to write my book was ignited. In the first few chapters of my book, I do recount the day my son died, his viewing and his funeral. I also discuss the many other issues that have to be dealt with during the months afterward. Although sad, I felt that this was an important part of my grieving process. But in the chapters that follow, I describe all the positive actions we took that helped us to go on. I discuss new found hobbies, seeking professional help, medium readings, and even the many beautiful signs I feel my son sends us to let us know he is alright. So in addition to a journey filled with very specific steps I and my family took to survive, it is also a story of my spiritual journey. So if you or anyone you know has lost a child or loved one, I am confident that some idea or story in my book will help them.

A series of whimsical essays by the New York Times "Social Q's" columnist provides modern advice on navigating today's murky moral waters, sharing recommendations for such everyday situations as texting on the bus to splitting a dinner check.