'Behind the Painted Smile' is a hard-hitting and shocking account of prolific artist Gary Cartwright's sometimes traumatic life and its affects upon his work. This no-holes-barred account, taken from his personal diaries tells of his struggles, through the ups and the downs, the laughter and the tears. Caught up in a violent relationship; being mentally and physically abused. Struggling with the issues of terminal illness, suicide, death, drug abuse and everyday news headlines, all of which feature somewhere within his work. It tells of his trials and tribulations to keep his head above water to survive, earning himself a reputation for his thought provoking paintings that have made front page news and been the subject of much debate, some of which are now in Museums and Private Collections in England and Europe. Told in graphic detail, this is not a book for the faint hearted as it sends you on a rollercoaster of emotions. It gives you a better insight into the artist himself, his life and his work. "A not to be missed book that you will read over and over again."

I chose to write this particular book, mainly to prove something to myself and other people just how a person such as myself can progress in their lives. After surviving both physical and sexual abuse in my past from a family member. Having to live with the turmoil of placing my children in the care of other families.My worst nightmare of which I had to come to terms with, was when my son Daniel was killed in a road traffic accident in 2001. I chose to write all of my thoughts and emotions down, instead of having any kind of councelling. As each day passes by, I know that with my partner who is so understanding, that I can overcome anything that life chooses to throw at me. Although, I do not allow my emotions to be seen, as each day the first thing I do is put my make up on, which is what I would call my "mask".This to me makes life so much easier as nobody has any idea of what I am thinking or feeling. Each day I write on a calender the events of my daily routine.That is how it became to be written in diary form,and then even I could see the progress I had made in my life.Should I ever be concerned about something, or not be too certain of anything, I think of what my late son Daniel would have told me.He would of said "go for it mum".

*Contains strong language* Cathy's life is spiralling out of control. Deeply scarred by a childhood of maternal neglect, she attempts to find solace in self-harm and delinquent behaviour. Before long, she is addicted to alcohol. Hidden behind a painted smile, Cathy begins a promising career as an actress and model, rubbing shoulders with royalty and the rich and famous. But Cathy is her own worst enemy and her continued dependence on alcohol hurtles her down a path of self-destruction. She endures a string of abusive, often horrific relationships, anorexia, poverty and almost loses her children. In this harrowing true story, Cathy never loses her sense of humour and is determined to win the battle with the bottle, and herself.

GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF AN ABUSIVE AND CONTROLLING MAN AND THE EFFECT SHORT AND LONG TERM IT HAS HAD ON A WOMAN WHO THOUGHT SHE HAD MET THE "PERFECT" MAN.

A journey in this life through storms, pits, and valleys . A journey in which a young man learns of trust, closeness, tenderness of love, and never ever being alone. A journey of strength and friendship. A journey in a walk with God and his Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Walking down the road of despair, all alone with weights I cant bear, and my heart doesnt feel song, only tears come along, and they call to their friends. Walking broken on my way to nowhere, wondering why am I still even here. I can see clear with my eyes, but its something inside missing, dying. I can see the madness of a world gone wrong, they play their games and love their shame and tell the young there is no wrong, while along they sing a song of sin. The young are torn by drugs and hate, a media world bombards their day, electric this and electric that, instant this and instant that. We move so fast almost like light, going 90 mph, instead of going forward, they were really going down. A million chains lead them away. The intentions of this book are to honor my Father in heaven and my Lord Jesus Christ. I know what its like to be lost in this world. Come in from the cold.