Bob Odenkirk is a legend in the comedy-writing world, winning Emmys and acclaim for his work on Saturday Night Live, Mr. Show with Bob and David, and many other seminal TV shows. This book, his first, is a spleen-bruisingly funny omnibus that ranges from absurdist monologues (“Martin Luther King, Jr’s Worst Speech Ever”) to intentionally bad theater (“Hitler Dinner Party: A Play”); from avant-garde fiction (“Obituary for the Creator of Madlibs”) to free-verse poetry that's funnier and more powerful than the work of Calvin Trillin, Jewel, and Robert Louis Stevenson combined. Odenkirk's debut resembles nothing so much as a hilarious new sketch comedy show that’s exclusively available as a streaming video for your mind. As Odenkirk himself writes in “The Second Coming of Jesus and Lazarus,” it is a book “to be read aloud to yourself in the voice of Bob Newhart.”

Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, creators of HBO's classic sketch comedy show Mr. Show, present to you this collection of never-before-seen scripts and ideas that Hollywood couldn't find the gumption to green-light. Simply put... HOLLYWOOD SAID NO! Since Mr. Show closed up shop, Bob and David have kept busy with many projects--acting in fun, successful, movies and TV shows, directing things, and complaining about stuff that didn't turn out well to anyone who would listen, and even alone, in silence, inside their own heads. HOLLYWOOD SAID NO! reveals the full-length, never-before-seen scripts for Bob and David Make a Movie (fleshed out with brand-new storyboards by acclaimed artist Mike Mitchell) and Hooray For America!: a satirical power-house indictment of all that you hold dear. This tome also includes a bonus section of orphaned sketch ideas from the Mr. Show days and beyond, suitable for performance by church groups that aren't all koo-koo about religion. What you are looking at online, and are about to buy, is chock-full of comic twists, turns, and maybe a few hard truths. We said "maybe," but what we mean was "probably not." Now, for the first time, take a peek at the scripts that didn't get the go-ahead and ponder a world we can only dream about...and beyond!

Ricky Rice is a middling hustler with a lingering junk habit, a bum knee, and a haunted mind. A survivor of a suicide cult, he scrapes by as a porter at a bus depot in Utica, New York, until one day a mysterious letter arrives, summoning him to enlist in a band of paranormal investigators comprised of former addicts and petty criminals, all of whom had at some point in their wasted lives heard what may have been the voice of God. Infused with the wonder of a disquieting dream and laced with Victor LaValle’s fiendish comic sensibility, Big Machine is a mind-rattling mystery about doubt, faith, and the monsters we carry within us.

The star and creative force behind Mr. Show and Arrested Development pens his "first and final book, chronicling his meteoric rise and abysmal fall in the literary world." After a decade spent in isolation in the Ugandan jungles thinking about stuff, David Cross has written his first book. Known for roles on the small screen such as "never-nude" Tobias Funke on Arrested Development and the role of "David" in Mr. Show With Bob And David, as well as a hugely successful stand-up routine full of sharp-tongued rants and rages, Cross has carved out his place in American comedy. Whether deflating the pomposity of religious figures, calling out the pathetic symbiosis of pseudo-celebrity and its leaching fandom, or merely pushing the buttons of the way-too-easily offended P.C. left or the caustic, double-standard of the callous (but funnier) right, Cross has something to say about everyone, including his own ridiculous self. Now, for the first time, Cross is weaving his media mockery, celebrity denunciation, religious commentary and sheer madness into book form, revealing the true story behind his almost existential distaste of Jim Belushi ("The Belush"), disclosing the up-to-now unpublished minutes to a meeting of Fox television network executives, and offering up a brutally grotesque run-in with Bill O'Reilly. And as if this wasn't enough for your laughing pleasure in these troubled times, some of the pieces splinter off with additional material being created online in exclusive video and animated web content created solely for the book-a historical first (presumably)! With a mix of personal essays, satirical fiction posing as truth, advice for rich people, information from America's least favorite Rabbi and a top-ten list of top-ten lists, I Drink for a Reason is as unique as the comedian himself, and cannot be missed.

The New York Times bestseller that explains how groundbreaking scientific discoveries can help each of us achieve our personal best Every week, Gretchen Reynolds single-handedly influences how millions of Americans work out. In her popular New York Times column, she debunks myths, spurs conversation, and stirs controversy by questioning widely held beliefs about exercise. Here, Reynolds consults experts in a range of fields to share paradigm-shifting findings that were previously only available in academic and medical journals, including: · 20 minutes of cardio is all you need (and sometimes six minutes is enough) · Stretching before a workout is counterproductive · Chocolate milk is better than Gatorade for recovery Whether you’re running ultramarathons or just want to climb the stairs without losing your breath, The First 20 Minutes will show you how to be healthy today and perform better tomorrow.

Tongue twisters abound in this classic Dr. Seuss Beginner Book! "Bed Spreaders spread spreads on beds. Bread Spreaders spread butter on breads. And that Bed Spreader better watch out how he's spreading . . . or that Bread Spreader's sure going to butter his bedding." This riotous collection weaves together a wonderment of words designed to twist the lips. Wordsmiths and beginning readers will love Oh, Say Can You Say? and treasure tackling these tangled tongue teasers. Beginner Books are fun, funny, and easy to read! Launched by Dr. Seuss in 1957 with the publication of The Cat in the Hat, this beloved early reader series motivates children to read on their own by using simple words with illustrations that give clues to their meaning. Featuring a combination of kid appeal, supportive vocabulary, and bright, cheerful art, Beginner Books will encourage a love of reading in children ages 3–7.

Recent decades have seen a revival of paganism, and every summer people gather across the United States to celebrate this increasingly popular religion. Sarah Pike's engrossing ethnography is the outcome of five years attending neo-pagan festivals, interviewing participants, and sometimes taking part in their ceremonies. Earthly Bodies, Magical Selves incorporates her personal experience and insightful scholarly work concerning ritual, sacred space, self-identity, and narrative. The result is a compelling portrait of this frequently misunderstood religious movement. Neo-paganism began emerging as a new religious movement in the late 1960s. In addition to bringing together followers for self-exploration and participation in group rituals, festivals might offer workshops on subjects such as astrology, tarot, mythology, herbal lore, and African drumming. But while they provide a sense of community for followers, Neo-Pagan festivals often provoke criticism from a variety of sources—among them conservative Christians, Native Americans, New Age spokespersons, and media representatives covering stories of rumored "Satanism" or "witchcraft." Earthly Bodies, Magical Selves explores larger issues in the United States regarding the postmodern self, utopian communities, cultural improvisation, and contemporary spirituality. Pike's accessible writing style and her nonsensationalistic approach do much to demystify neo-paganism and its followers.